That to me is astounding. I never had that sense of perspective at twelve.
I think we all had interpolations and extrapolations of what we experienced; from the abduction-rape victim to the groomed victim of incest. I think we all thought about what was happening in some unique way.
My forecast was based upon:
-the ramifications of the knife attack, as it was life-shattering.
-my continual and ever-increasing physical and mental reaction to "it."
-my eventual desire to do it again, and again, and again...
-my need to MB and ability to hit dry orgasm LONG before I hit puberty (age 15)
-I'll never forget the boys in the kiddie-porn magazines Perp #1 had in his father's stacked collection. To me, they appeared to be begrudgingly complying. The smiles were fake, but the eyes told me they were in trouble. It was only natural to fear I was going to end up WITH them.
I knew none of what was happening was normal, but I also knew to never expect rescue.