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#445969 - 08/30/13 01:18 PM If I was Strong
Adam A Gedman Offline


Registered: 08/12/13
Posts: 182
Loc: Canada

If I was strong
My life would be good
Not second guessing myself
With a lifetime of should

If I was strong
I would have been perfect
Protected myself
My attacker thus thwarted

If I was strong
Run is what I should
Avoided the stranger
Sought help from the good

If I was strong
I would not have been hurt
Would have pushed him away
Not end in up the dirt

If I was strong
I would not know this shame
Given part of myself
For a lifetime of blame

If I was strong
My mind would be free
My past, In the past
Nothing weighing on me

If I was strong
Would've done all I can
My safety assured
I would feel like a man


Edited by Adam A Gedman (08/31/13 12:30 AM)
_________________________
Presence is the key, for all we have is now.
All we ever have is right now.

Formerly Adam A Gedman (AKA - A damAGed man)

But you can call me Kevin

Toronto Mini WoR - May 2014

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#446169 - 09/01/13 10:15 PM Re: If I was Strong [Re: Adam A Gedman]
Shyshark Offline


Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 411
Loc: Canada
Adam my friend
you are wrong
you are here
you are strong
_________________________
Experience is a brutal teacher.

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#446181 - 09/02/13 12:45 AM Re: If I was Strong [Re: Adam A Gedman]
Adam A Gedman Offline


Registered: 08/12/13
Posts: 182
Loc: Canada
Thanks shark

Being a man of over 6 ft, and svelt 160 lbs, in arguably excellent physical condition, it hard to place myself in the shoes of an 8 yr old, and understand why I could have avoided the situation, or put myself in safer place, or ran or something, before I simply walked away with a stranger!!!

Yet I understand that at 8 yrs old, I was I'll prepared to see the danger, let alone find a way or ways out of it.
Logically I understand, but if I can see it now, why couldn't I have seen it then?

Here is where I am stuck.
I don't know what I need to do change how I see it.
_________________________
Presence is the key, for all we have is now.
All we ever have is right now.

Formerly Adam A Gedman (AKA - A damAGed man)

But you can call me Kevin

Toronto Mini WoR - May 2014

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#446195 - 09/02/13 03:22 AM Re: If I was Strong [Re: Adam A Gedman]
risingagain Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/09/10
Posts: 595
Loc: Vancouver, BC, Canada
If I was strong
I'd allow myself to see
a vulnerable child
has no responsibility

for the things cruel adults do
in our blindness
we blame the boy
not man enough

where were the men
with eyes to see???
with compassion in their hearts
to pull apart predator and prey
and say, ENOUGH.

it begins with me
can i intervene
in the life of one boy
who lives inside me?

to believe and forgive that
growing little boy
he's not weak at all
only 4 feet tall

and very smart
to adapt from the start
to a world without supports
for the violence that hurts
him so deeply

i love that little boy
and you and you
it all starts with him
and i see a champion

((((Adam))))


Edited by risingagain (09/02/13 03:28 AM)

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#446253 - 09/02/13 08:11 PM Re: If I was Strong [Re: Adam A Gedman]
Adam A Gedman Offline


Registered: 08/12/13
Posts: 182
Loc: Canada
Ask and ye shall receive.
A great perspective to adopt.
I only hope I am strong enough now.

But I will try.

Thanks risingagain
_________________________
Presence is the key, for all we have is now.
All we ever have is right now.

Formerly Adam A Gedman (AKA - A damAGed man)

But you can call me Kevin

Toronto Mini WoR - May 2014

Top
#446309 - 09/03/13 11:24 AM Re: If I was Strong [Re: Adam A Gedman]
risingagain Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/09/10
Posts: 595
Loc: Vancouver, BC, Canada
laugh

I am so grateful for the opportunity to work on myself.
Working on my abuse trauma, recovery work, has made me so much stronger.
It's an amazing journey.
The abuse is terrible and debilitating.
But facing it is amazing. You can find your strength in each small step you take to build a new life.
Let's do it together!
Walking forward out of the ashes.

Love,
Mark

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#446323 - 09/03/13 12:40 PM Re: If I was Strong [Re: Adam A Gedman]
Shyshark Offline


Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 411
Loc: Canada
For whatever it's worth Mark ...
you have me in your corner.

smile
_________________________
Experience is a brutal teacher.

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#446354 - 09/03/13 06:02 PM Re: If I was Strong [Re: Adam A Gedman]
risingagain Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/09/10
Posts: 595
Loc: Vancouver, BC, Canada
I want Adam, and you Shyshark and Howard and Lee and Michele and Theo Fleury and Glori Meldrum and all the amazing guys & gals working on healing and advocacy to be united... I want to move beyond this not only personally but my family, and all families.

Thanks for being so strong guys!

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#446369 - 09/03/13 08:28 PM Re: If I was Strong [Re: Adam A Gedman]
Adam A Gedman Offline


Registered: 08/12/13
Posts: 182
Loc: Canada
I am touched that you view me with such high regard.
I am glad something I've posted has helped you, it has certainly helped me.

Everyone contributing is working together, and helps us all, even those unable to contribute at this time.

Advocacy is also something my therapist mentioned in my last session.
Perhaps she sees something in me that I do not yet, but it is interesting to think about it.
_________________________
Presence is the key, for all we have is now.
All we ever have is right now.

Formerly Adam A Gedman (AKA - A damAGed man)

But you can call me Kevin

Toronto Mini WoR - May 2014

Top
#446608 - 09/07/13 02:10 AM Re: If I was Strong [Re: Adam A Gedman]
risingagain Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/09/10
Posts: 595
Loc: Vancouver, BC, Canada
If only you could see,
When you are in darkness,
The Light of your own Self.

(Rumi said that, passing it on to u bros)

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