Newest Members
therealme, Meme, ScaredWife, R2D2, Ghostcrab124
12785 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
Bluebird (41), djsurvivor (40)
Who's Online
7 registered (betrayed boy, lapchinj, Mishka95673, 4 invisible), 14 Guests and 4 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12785 Members
75 Forums
65853 Topics
460562 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Topic Options
#444510 - 08/16/13 06:32 PM WHAT WAS IT ABOUT ME
bluesky Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/04/13
Posts: 333
WHAT WAS IT ABOUT ME

THAT THEY WANTED
TAUNTED
NEEDED
THREATENED
FRIGHTENED
SCARED
SCARRED
MARRED
BEAT IN TO MEAT
STOLE

WHAT WAS IT ABOUT ME

THAT WAS THERE
THAT I TRY TO BE
THAT I TRY TO SEE
THE INNOCENCE
PURITY
GOODNESS
JOY
HAPPINESS
CARING
UNSELFISH SELFLESSNESS

WHAT WAS IT ABOUT ME

_________________________
Bluesky

Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain."
Frank Herbert

Top
#444788 - 08/20/13 11:27 AM Re: WHAT WAS IT ABOUT ME [Re: bluesky]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3750
Loc: somewhere in Africa
I have often asked the same questions.

One answer that is both devastating and liberating is -
NOTHING!
I was not special in any way.
I was only available and vulnerable.
it could have been anyone.
It was not because I did or didn't do anything.
just the wrong place at the wrong time.
and I did nothing to cause or contribute to what happened.

I am off the hook.
Hope you can do the same for yourself.
Lee
_________________________
"That you are here - that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. . . What will your verse be?" Robin Williams as John Keating in "Dead Poets Society"


Top
#444789 - 08/20/13 11:36 AM Re: WHAT WAS IT ABOUT ME [Re: bluesky]
newground Offline
Chatroom Moderator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 10/11/11
Posts: 971
Loc: michigan
I dont suppose that there is one survivor out there that hasn't faces this question. I beat myself up even still cause things
don't just happen and it did so much.And according to the noise s" you should know better!" I am trying to remember that I couldn't and cant know all the possibilities and be ok with that but it is very hard that little boy still takes the beatings but im working on it thanks for reminding how very important that is
Jeff
_________________________
Either I will find a way, or I will make one.
Philip Sidney

Top
#445062 - 08/22/13 02:17 AM Re: WHAT WAS IT ABOUT ME [Re: bluesky]
bluesky Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/04/13
Posts: 333
Thanks for the encouragement and kind words.
All that you guys said was and is true and im just starting to see the truth for what it is after 36 years of gilt and shame.That I did nothing and could do nothing to stop what happened to me its a hard pill that's all.
Thanks
_________________________
Bluesky

Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain."
Frank Herbert

Top
#445064 - 08/22/13 02:26 AM Re: WHAT WAS IT ABOUT ME [Re: bluesky]
Shyshark Offline


Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 583
Loc: Canada
Dear bluesky ...

I have tried so many times now to answer you ...
but it just hurts too much.
There are just too many reasons ...
for every answer there are 2 questions.
It's too much.

I'm sorry ...
I hear what you say ...
I know how you feel.

Shawn
_________________________
Experience is a brutal teacher.

Top
#445139 - 08/22/13 04:50 PM Re: WHAT WAS IT ABOUT ME [Re: bluesky]
bluesky Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/04/13
Posts: 333
Thank You Shawn for posting and sharing and lending a hand this is the way of healing that we all need.
Your words and poetry are so real that it makes me feel.
Thanks smile grin
_________________________
Bluesky

Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain."
Frank Herbert

Top


Moderator:  ModTeam 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.