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#443953 - 08/10/13 12:51 PM Re: Hello I am new! [Re: s156]
genedebs Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/09/12
Posts: 289
Loc: MO
Welcome s156

The idea of choosing between abandonment, loneliness, sexual assault, conflict with "feelings of harm" to your parent, etc. is not really a choice. No matter how you choose you loose.

I didn't have to go to their houses, they came to mine. Self-hatred, sense of worthlessness and 27 years of blackout drinking are my experiences. This is a safe place and I hope you find this a place of understanding and support.

We all have different stories and we all are just the same.

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#444118 - 08/12/13 04:20 PM Re: Hello I am new! [Re: s156]
s156 Offline


Registered: 08/07/13
Posts: 4
Loc: CA
I know, right!? Not only does he take me to his church to "worship" his father is the pastor!!! So I get to meet them. After an entire weekend of use/abuse. I became very good at going out of body, I could trigger it like a switch. I now know that clamping down on that fear was far more hurtful than anything else. I am now dealing with the sexual imprint scars he left me with. I just signed up for the retreat in September, looking forward to that opportunity.
_________________________
s156

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#444463 - 08/16/13 01:15 AM Re: Hello I am new! [Re: s156]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1600
Loc: New England
Originally Posted By: s156
I found my saviour through alcohol and drugs that year, and never looked back. It is time to heal

Welcome s156,

Drugs and alcohol are how I sought to cope with what happened to me as well. Anything that took away the feelings of anger, fear, shame, and self-hatred. It worked well.....until it didn't. Its took me too many years to be willing to face it all. But I'm 16 years sober, and seeing the begining of a new life. I hope you will too.

Be well.
_________________________
Seems I've got to have a change of scene
Every night I have the strangest dreams
Imprisoned by the way it could have been
Left here on my own or so it seems
I've got to leave before I start to scream
Joe Cocker

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#444489 - 08/16/13 01:52 PM Re: Hello I am new! [Re: Jude]
s156 Offline


Registered: 08/07/13
Posts: 4
Loc: CA
thank you, I have 6 months sobriety. I have a firm foundation. it is time to add to that foundation through this website and fellowships. I am also going to the retreat in Alta in September, to expand on my healing.
_________________________
s156

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