I found my saviour through alcohol and drugs that year, and never looked back. It is time to heal
Drugs and alcohol are how I sought to cope with what happened to me as well. Anything that took away the feelings of anger, fear, shame, and self-hatred. It worked well.....until it didn't. Its took me too many years to be willing to face it all. But I'm 16 years sober, and seeing the begining of a new life. I hope you will too.
"But now old friends are acting strange,
they shake their heads, they say I've changed.
Something's lost but something's gained in living every day
....it's life's illusions I recall, I really don't know life at all. "Joni Mitchell