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#441453 - 07/20/13 06:51 AM By way of Introduction
Jak Offline


Registered: 07/18/13
Posts: 5
About Me:
I have been using and struggling with masturbation and pornography since I was 11 years old. I am now 62 yrs. old and I know I am not alone in fact I truly believe all men have this same struggle to some extent or another. Some sink into this bottomless pit and end up acting out their fantasies in real life and like Ted Bundy end up being executed. Thankfully I have not gone that far and my fantasies don't include violence or murder. Having said that I have tried multiple partners and same sex partners a few times. I now have basically given up on getting totally free of this addition. I tried Setting Captives Free group once and lasted about 2 weeks then hit a weak moment and got discouraged and quit. I used to think it was my hormones but I have ED due to low testosterone levels and I can't even masturbate anymore or at least for a long time I couldn't. Now I am on testosterone replacement injections once a week which have helped but I am still not about to have successful intercourse with my wife because 1. she as an aversion to sex and 2. my erections aren't strong enough to penetrate.
So I saw Nate's interview on Brian Hardin's blog and thought I would check out his group. I don't struggle with guilt or shame because I know what my position in Christ is "I am seated in the Heavenlies with God the Father". And I enjoy the thrill and rush of orgasm more than I want to quit using pornography and masturbation. So I come to this group not thinking I can ever be totally free of this addiction but knowing that I must keep trying anyway. Because in Christ I have become a slave to righteousness
_________________________
When you die, where will you spend eternity?

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#441454 - 07/20/13 07:21 AM Re: By way of Introduction [Re: Jak]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3028
Loc: O Kanada
welcome aboard.
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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#441476 - 07/20/13 01:51 PM Re: By way of Introduction [Re: Jak]
BuffaloCO Offline


Registered: 07/14/12
Posts: 413
Loc: USA
Welcome Jak. Thank you for your note in my Trying to Start introduction. I also know how addictive porn can be as I was introduced to it and groomed with it very young. I heard once that I could break the porn habit if I could go 21 days without it, taking it on one day at a time. That worked for me, I don't go to porn sites anymore.

Welcome to the site, and there are a lot of good people here so you are not alone either. I am glad you found this place and hope you find support, love, comfort and healing here. Since joining last July I started T (therapy) and am moving forward, even when it feels like a turtle pace I still know I'm doing that now. Again, welcome Brother.
_________________________
“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark. The real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.” - Plato

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#441507 - 07/20/13 06:39 PM Re: By way of Introduction [Re: Jak]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3028
Loc: O Kanada
addicted?
porn is my secret.
porn is my precious.
porn is my hazard.
porn is my menace.
porn is my enemy.
porn is my nemesis.
porn is my history.
porn is my weakness.
porn is my poison.
porn is my darkness.
porn is my heroin.
porn is my bliss.
porn is my prayer.
porn is my curse.
porn is my woman.
porn is my wilderness.
porn is my hobby.
porn is my own personal private business.

pardon the pun about a serious subject,
but it's getting harder than ever
to stay away from it every day.
powerful addiction.
i used to think that indulging would get rid of my urges.
it only increases, intensifies and magnifies them.
i used to say that porn saved my marriage, because i thought it kept me from cheating.
in fact, it has come between my wife and me.
i used to think that if she would only do what i wanted as often as i needed then i wouldn't resort to porn.
she already did do what i wanted... i wanted more.
there is no end to the shame and blame game.
porn is scripted prostitution.
prostitution is consensual rape.
i am swimming in a sewer.

addicted?
no doubt.
(will power and prayer have failed)

solution?
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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