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#439620 - 06/30/13 08:00 PM Re: Five Years Ago Tonight - A Violent Crime Story [Re: BraveFalcon]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3520
Loc: somewhere in Africa
Ken - thanks for telling this part of your story.

what impressed me most about it was how powerfully you expressed what you wanted to say to the scum who attacked you. i see you as strong and articulate and proactive. it made me want to be like you when i grow up!

have you gone through this same process of expressing your feelings and thoughts to those responsible for the CSA? if so, i'd like to read it.

lee
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#439622 - 06/30/13 09:25 PM Re: Five Years Ago Tonight - A Violent Crime Story [Re: BraveFalcon]
Rustam Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/27/04
Posts: 473
Loc: UK
What a story indeed, great that he got caught with the help of his own stupidity, such a hideous crime, glad he is off the streets.

The revenge fantasy is totally natural given the circumstances, fantasy does no one any harm, its justified anger and healing in its way, a compassionate and caring person is allowed to be angry too. I was shocked when I first got angry with the perps the fantasies were so gruesome (it was just about wreaking havoc on them as they had done to me).

Peter

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#439749 - 07/01/13 11:43 PM Re: Five Years Ago Tonight - A Violent Crime Story [Re: traveler]
BraveFalcon Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 1147
Loc: The ATL

Hi Peter and Lee. Thanks for the replies.

Originally Posted By: traveler

have you gone through this same process of expressing your feelings and thoughts to those responsible for the CSA?


Well, I've posted a good deal about those responsible for the CSA but I don't think I've really written out my emotions about them in th same format. I'm not really sure how that would go. The funny thing is, while I know their actions caused me 1000X more long-term damage than the guy who carjacked me did, I don't have that much anger towards them. Pertly because my abusers were just screwed-up older kids who were likely acting out their own abuse. Of course that doesn't make it ok but it helps me to understand why it happened and forgive them, mostly. It's harder for me to be angry at someone I see as simply a "screwed-up kid" than it is for me to be angry at someone I see as a truly bad and evil person, even though the "screwed up kids" ultimately hurt me worse. Does that make any sense?

If I did write a similar note to my abusers it would probably come out as me sounding a lot more hurt, sad and defeated than it would me sounding angry. Not sure I'll ever do it but I may. Thanks for suggesting it though. Take care. Peace,

Ken

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#439767 - 07/02/13 02:07 AM Re: Five Years Ago Tonight - A Violent Crime Story [Re: BraveFalcon]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3603
Loc: O Kanada
your story really pissed me off.

i can't believe petty punks like that exist, but they are everywhere. they are laughable losers, but dangerous.
idiots like that sometimes kill people, go to jail, and even die for less than $7.

i have been robbed a few times, but not seriously injured.
just threats, a beating, punch in the face, kick in the nuts, etc.

the most they ever got from me was $65.
those guys were caught, and one went to jail.
the other robberies did not cost me more than $20 each.
only once was a weapon used. some guy pulled a knife on me in amsterdam, in broad daylight, on a busy street. i gave him 20 guilders and he ran away.

earlier this year, i had my cellphone snatched, but there was no violence. that cost me $291.

i am glad the perp was arrested and convicted.
that won't fix your face though.
the link to the convict did not work for me, by the way.
http://www.dc.state.fl.us/activeinmates/detail.asp?Bookmark=1&From=list&SessionID=941545059
"There was an error retrieving the details about the selected offender. This error can be caused by clicking on an out-dated link or selecting an old bookmark (or Favorite). Please note that this offender may no longer be under the custody of the Department of Corrections or their status may have changed. To see if the offender is still listed on our web site, use the Offender Information Search as it will search all of our offender databases. (Note: bookmarks to this page will not work correctly)"


thanks for telling your story.
i found it inspirational.
you gave me some insight into my own character.

we survivors can be a tough and fearless crew.

glad you are still among us, to share your soul.
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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#439843 - 07/02/13 09:21 PM Re: Five Years Ago Tonight - A Violent Crime Story [Re: victor-victim]
BraveFalcon Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 1147
Loc: The ATL
Originally Posted By: victor-victim

i can't believe petty punks like that exist, but they are everywhere. they are laughable losers, but dangerous.
idiots like that sometimes kill people, go to jail, and even die for less than $7.


Hi Victor. Yeah that is true. I know I said earlier in the thread that I wonder what would have happened if I had just stayed in reverse to get away but there's no telling if he would have just shot me in the face through the windshield, stolen what he could, then tried to make his escape with me lying there dying or dead. Shit like that happens every single day.

Sorry to hear you've been the victim of similar circumstances yourself. Oh, and that link keeps updating for some reason so I can only direct link to the page about Mr. Colon for a little while before it changes again and fucks up the link. So, here's a screen cap...





Originally Posted By: victor-victim
we survivors can be a tough and fearless crew.


Yeah, maybe even to much so at times. In the moments after this dude drove off with my car, I was full of adrenaline and was easily more angry than I was frightened. While waiting for the police to arrive I paced and stomped around angrily, thinking, "Why didn't I try to run him over? What the hell is wrong with me? If only I had it to do over again!" Again, in that moment, I can almost see myself as Monty Python's "Black Night" character ..... "COME BACK HERE AND TAKE WHAT'S COMING TO YOU!!!! I'LL BITE YOUR LEGS OFF!!!!!" Ha ha! grin Take care. Peace,

Ken

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#439857 - 07/02/13 11:30 PM Re: Five Years Ago Tonight - A Violent Crime Story [Re: BraveFalcon]
Chase Eric Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 1492
OMG, Ken - I read this in a Starbucks and it absolutely blew me away! It is an incredible trauma that you went through, and you are fortunate it did not turn out worse than it did. I just don't know what to say. I have a hard time relating, although I did get slapped in the face by a couple of bigger dudes when I first moved to California. I stalled out a friend's car trying to move it while he was away - he had NY plates and these guys thought I was a New Yorker. Reason enough, eh? But like you, the insult to body and spirit was intense. You are a true survivor, my friend.
_________________________
Eirik




Click my pic to see why I'm here

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#439868 - 07/03/13 12:29 AM Re: Five Years Ago Tonight - A Violent Crime Story [Re: Chase Eric]
BraveFalcon Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 1147
Loc: The ATL
Originally Posted By: Chase Eric
OMG, Ken - I read this in a Starbucks and it absolutely blew me away! It is an incredible trauma that you went through, and you are fortunate it did not turn out worse than it did. I just don't know what to say. I have a hard time relating, although I did get slapped in the face by a couple of bigger dudes when I first moved to California. I stalled out a friend's car trying to move it while he was away - he had NY plates and these guys thought I was a New Yorker. Reason enough, eh? But like you, the insult to body and spirit was intense. You are a true survivor, my friend.


Thanks Eirik. Man, someone slapped you in Cali just because they thought you were from New York? And I thought New Yorkers were treated badly when they came to the rural south! Yikes! eek Sorry to hear that happened though. Take care. Peace,

Ken

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#439971 - 07/03/13 09:54 PM Re: Five Years Ago Tonight - A Violent Crime Story [Re: BraveFalcon]
ThisMan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/22/13
Posts: 767
Loc: upper south
"...I know I just called myself a generally compassionate and caring person and I am, up to a point, but fuck this guy. Take care. Peace,"...

I call you human, Ken. And one of the most compassionate posters on MS.

bill
_________________________
For now we see through a glass, darkly.



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#440056 - 07/04/13 02:47 PM Re: Five Years Ago Tonight - A Violent Crime Story [Re: ThisMan]
BraveFalcon Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 1147
Loc: The ATL
Originally Posted By: ThisMan
"...I know I just called myself a generally compassionate and caring person and I am, up to a point, but fuck this guy. Take care. Peace,"...

I call you human, Ken. And one of the most compassionate posters on MS.


Hi Bill. I appreciate that you would say that. Although, it's a little hard for me to feel compassionate when the fantasy of running another human being down with my car makes me smile a little and gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling inside. I guess I have to give myself a pass though considering that other human being bashed my face in with a gun for $7. YEA! I can have a violent revenge fantasy and still be compassionate! laugh Thanks. Take care. Peace,

Ken

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