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#462030 - 03/04/14 08:29 PM Re: The Elevator Accident [Re: victor-victim]
BraveFalcon Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 1139
Loc: The ATL

Hello, Jay. Thank you for all the kind and encouraging words. I definitely appreciate everything you had to say. I will say that I do believe there are wounds I have from my childhood which can be healed to some extent and there are some that already have been largely healed. I've come a long way since I first disclosed to a friend of mine over 20 years ago now. However, there truly are some things about me, some pieces of me, that are irreparable. There are some types of damage to the sexual self that it is impossible to undo, much like the damage done to my friend's father's arm in that elevator shaft. For me to explain any further would require me to disclose some things that I do not feel safe disclosing even here. So, perhaps it's a little unfair of me to even post these types of things because I'm being cryptic and not really giving everyone the full story. Sadly, I feel like this is the only way I can express myself here though and try to convey some of the things I need to convey. It's just difficult is all. That's all I can really say.

Originally Posted By: victor-victim


I must have that toy! Gunna do a Google search for it now. grin Peace,

Ken

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#462042 - 03/04/14 10:16 PM Re: The Elevator Accident [Re: BraveFalcon]
JayBro Offline


Registered: 11/13/12
Posts: 270
Loc: Germany
Hey Ken,

You made a good point and it is fair for us both in that I am not given all the details and you are entitled to share however much or litte you'd like.

Looking back, what I was trying to get across was the concept of developing new strategies on how one approaches challenges in life- including elements of one's sexuality. If we avoid pushing ourselves and digging deeper to confront and tackle what encumbers us, then our difficulties will always remain unchallenged.

I am not a therapist and therefore cannot and will not provide any "insight" here. I will only suggest that if you ever come upon the means and the desire to continue with therapy, set goals on what you wish to further work on and then do your homework to find what therapist (and type of therapist/therapy) would be most suited to help you attain those goals. Ultimately, all the work is accomplished by you, but the insight and guidance of specific therapists will, of course, provide you with different tools to develop the project you wish to work on. For example, if it is improving your sexuality along with the already-established knowledge and mindfulness of your CSA's impact, then perhaps you may wish to consult a sex therapist or one specific to CSA. Consultation sessions should always be free- plus you can research the kind of therapy they practice/school they adhere to based on what is posted on their websites.

Similarly to what advice you are seeking on MaleSurvivor, a therapist can only help you based upon the information that you provide them.

I wish you the best of luck in your journey. Perhaps I am too much of a damn optimist, but I believe there is still hope for you to continue to improve your life in areas you see fit. You're absolutely correct in stating that certain effects of our trauma remain with us for life. But recovery never ends; recovery occurs in stages and it is often compartmentalised. You take on one issue after you've accomplished others, and while certain coping mechanisms may have been useful during one stage, they may need to be re-worked in another.

You seem like a smart guy and I hope this hasn't been at all condescending or of little help to you.

May I send you some of my world-famous HUGS?
_________________________
,,Nun ging es immerzu, weit, weit bis an der Welt Ende."

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#462044 - 03/04/14 10:26 PM Re: The Elevator Accident [Re: JayBro]
BraveFalcon Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 1139
Loc: The ATL
Originally Posted By: JayBro
May I send you some of my world-famous HUGS?


Of course. Thank you. smile

Ken

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#462104 - 03/06/14 12:03 AM Re: The Elevator Accident [Re: BraveFalcon]
JayBro Offline


Registered: 11/13/12
Posts: 270
Loc: Germany
smile HUGSSSSS
_________________________
,,Nun ging es immerzu, weit, weit bis an der Welt Ende."

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