congratulations on finding that courage man , it does get easier to talk about it. just keep on reading and finding your voice here as you are able. you are among friends. you are welcome here man heal well!
Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering whale; to the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee. let me then tow to pieces, while still chasing thee, thou damned whale! Thus, I give up the spear!"