Newest Members
MorganWut, myrlin, AaronS, BookHouseBoy, WeFallWeRise
12464 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
isol8er (43), omrfople (38)
Who's Online
1 registered (1 invisible), 17 Guests and 4 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12464 Members
74 Forums
63992 Topics
446665 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Topic Options
#434534 - 05/12/13 11:31 PM Memories or lack thereof
JWebster Offline


Registered: 05/08/13
Posts: 7
Loc: St. Louis
I was wondering how common it is among victims of CSA to have little to no memories but truly feel as though something happened.

I'm struggling with the very real feeling lately that something happened but I'm struggling perhaps even more with not being able to know for sure.

Top
#434535 - 05/12/13 11:41 PM Re: Memories or lack thereof [Re: JWebster]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
JW

At first I had a heavy amnesia about CSA events in my childhood. Then I remembered the different events one after the other. It took several years to remember it all.

I still had feelings that other stuff might have happened that I couldn't remember. I think some of those were fantasies. If they didn't get remembered with a weight of the emotion of abuse then they were a fantasy. If the memories came up with details and emotions then they were memories of real events.

Puffer




Edited by pufferfish (05/12/13 11:56 PM)

Top
#434536 - 05/13/13 12:04 AM Re: Memories or lack thereof [Re: JWebster]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
<<<<<<<<<<--------------- lack thereof right here

Top
#434537 - 05/13/13 12:05 AM Re: Memories or lack thereof [Re: JWebster]
JWebster Offline


Registered: 05/08/13
Posts: 7
Loc: St. Louis
Thank you for the reply.

I really get what you mean about the fantasy thing.

I'm trying to be very careful, there are a number of indicators that something could have happened but I'm very careful about the subject with myself.

For the first time in my life I have the feeling to go along with them.

It's very scary, I'm in the infancy of my therapy 'if' something happened.

I'm overly emotional and just feel like crying from time to time, which has never happened.

I just keep clinging to the thought that if I can't remember it then it didn't happen. Even though in my heart I know better than that statement.

It's like the last line of defense before I can 100% commit to coming to an unfortunate and unwanted realization.


Edited by JWebster (05/13/13 12:08 AM)
Edit Reason: added a sentence

Top
#434539 - 05/13/13 01:11 AM Re: Memories or lack thereof [Re: JWebster]
cant_remember Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/05
Posts: 1045
Hello, J Web.

Welcome to MS.

Please notice my screen name and review as many of my back posts as you would like to understand that you are not alone in this regard.

Cant
_________________________
Recovery is possible. Hang in there, brothers.

Top
#434547 - 05/13/13 05:19 AM Re: Memories or lack thereof [Re: JWebster]
Poorsoft Offline


Registered: 02/20/13
Posts: 163
I made a similiar post about this, you're not alone. A very large portion of CSA victims don't always remember, it's quite common.

Top
#434609 - 05/13/13 10:48 PM Re: Memories or lack thereof [Re: JWebster]
JWebster Offline


Registered: 05/08/13
Posts: 7
Loc: St. Louis
Thank you all, I'll do some reading tonight.

Top
#434634 - 05/14/13 10:08 AM Re: Memories or lack thereof [Re: JWebster]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2503
Loc: Denver, CO
almost no memories. At one point I had no memories before I turned 14. I am still learning why that was....
_________________________
the story
    https://1in6.org/men/bristlecone/mark-krueger/

Kirkridge - October 2008
Alta - September 2012
Alta - September 2013

Top


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.