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#431107 - 04/13/13 12:01 PM Re: The Importance of Remembering [Re: Lancer]
BraveFalcon Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 1046
Loc: The ATL
Originally Posted By: Lancer
Only six weeks? Thot it was longer. You've already made some insightful posts as I recall and I appreciate them.


Thank you for saying that. Although, MS is not the first place I've posted about these things. I've posted about my CSA and other childhood issues on a number of message boards over the years. MS is the first place in years I've done it though. Not sure what happened inside me to make me want to start exploring these issues again and join MS back in February, just did for some reason.

Originally Posted By: Lancer
Okay, you don't feel/recall it all now. Perhaps you'll recall more later, as you're able to handle it. Or you might not.


Probably not. Not without hypnoses or something else pretty drastic, which I doubt I'm going to do. I'm 38 years old and have been exploring these issues and these memories on and off for the last 20 years, the first year and a half of that being with a T. No new memories have surfaced in all that time and I'm not getting any younger. The holes that are there have always been there. Remembering the events of my childhood is kind of like trying to recount the plot of a movie that I watched the previous day when I was black-out drunk and passed out 15 minutes before the end. I know I watched the movie, I remember some details and some of the more noisy scenes, but most of the details are all spotty and foggy. Also, it was a terrible movie that no one should watch. Peace,

Ken


Edited by BraveFalcon (04/13/13 10:03 PM)

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#431110 - 04/13/13 12:26 PM Re: The Importance of Remembering [Re: BraveFalcon]
ThisMan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/22/13
Posts: 758
Loc: upper south
I understand about the cost and not having set goals regarding the therapy. I have do have insurance or I couldn't afford the help either. But as far as goals, I had no set goals either when I started. I just wanted the pain to stop.

And at least 50% or more of what I release, I release onto the MS board. It is immensely constructive in my journey of life at this time.

From reading your posts, I thought you had been a member here for a much longer time also. You have helped me, guy.


Edited by ThisMan (04/13/13 12:27 PM)
_________________________
For now we see through a glass, darkly.



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#431162 - 04/13/13 10:01 PM Re: The Importance of Remembering [Re: ThisMan]
BraveFalcon Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 1046
Loc: The ATL
Originally Posted By: ThisMan
I understand about the cost and not having set goals regarding the therapy. I have do have insurance or I couldn't afford the help either. But as far as goals, I had no set goals either when I started. I just wanted the pain to stop.


That's why I went into therapy the first time. I wanted the pain to stop. I wanted to make some sense of it all. I needed to evaluate what had happened to me. I didn't have any goals going in and I didn't really have any coming out. There were a few goals that came up along the way, like telling my parents, but nothing life changing. In a way, the T I went to may have saved my life, because going into therapy I was so suicidal that I literally felt myself on the brink. The hands were at 1 minute to midnight on my personal suicide doomsday clock. My work with the T help to push the hands of the clock back a bit and without him, I may not be here today. Since then, the hands on that clock have ticked dangerously close to midnight again a few times, although not as close as they did before going into therapy when I was 18.

These days, the hands on my personal suicide doomsday clock are safely away from that midnight mark. I'm not what you'd call a happy person, but I don't struggle with suicide ideation much anymore. (When I was younger my suicide ideation was an obsession.)

So, I don't have any therapy goals and I don't need it to save my life. I suppose that doesn't mean therapy couldn't help me to grow in some way though. If I could ever afford it, I might go back, just to dabble in it if nothing else and see where it goes. The affording part is the problem though. No insurance and I make $11.50/hr. It's all I can do to pay my bills.


Originally Posted By: ThisMan
From reading your posts, I thought you had been a member here for a much longer time also. You have helped me, guy.


Thank you for saying that. People keep telling me that and I keep having trouble believing that they are serious. I normally just feel like I am rambling on here in self-absorbed diatribes. Thanks for making me feel like my words are worth something. Take care. Laters,

Ken

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