Lately iím starting to realize it can actually be a good thing looking into old pain. For it turns out that a lot of this pain is due to my thinking about it. Being overly negative has created a negativity which pulls me down. Itís good to see that this is not all. I can actually do my part in healing, by taking care of myself. It feels strange to come to this realization, but at the same time it feels so natural. I have narrowed down my view of life so much, that I became stuck. And now there is this profound and beautiful opportunity to look at myself in depth. Its not just pretty, but thats only how I see things. It all depends on the thoughts and emotions you choose. It turns out I have a difficult time accepting the past. And this is not bad. In fact itís a major chance to change my life for the better. Cause I am asked to look at my own habitual thinking patterns, which were never questioned. And what I see, is that I need self respect and self love. Loving kindness for myself. Not judging myself for having a difficult time, but accepting it and embracing it as a beautiful growing opportunity.
So the things I see as bad, may actually be good in their own way. I just have to let go and allow life to take over. Not giving up on responsibility, its the other way around! By allowing to let go, I take the responsibility for my own inner well being. Holding on to the victim state which is the same as self doubt and self rejection, has not brought me peace or happiness. So now is a good time to let go of the old and start reaching for the new, by turning silent. Allowing the silence to teach me what I have neglected, so that I can integrate all these different parts of me into the whole being I truely am. Meditation is a good way to do this, as I realize that there is so little I know about my body and mind. Just be and allowing this awareness of being alive let you flow deeper into self.
"Realise that what you are cannot be born or die and with the fear gone, all suffering ends." - Nisargadatta Maharaj