From what I can understand here and from our personal experiences I can offer the following advice.
My husband is a survivor or rather a thriver of CSA and rape as a young adult and I to am a CSA survivor. We are a somewhat success story after a healing journey of almost 11 years and a fulfilling marriage of almost 28 years.
As a woman I do believe we handle trauma not better, but more openly. In other words as a female we are generally more open to bearing our souls.It is so much more difficult for a man. Your husband needs to feel more comfortable about discussing his trauma. No amount of prodding or pushing will produce results, he has to feel at ease with opening up his can of worms.
Your H needs to know that other men are facing similar demons to him, he needs to know he is not a freak, he needs to know he is still a man even if he faces his trauma. There are several recovery weekends run - Mike Lew (author of Victims no Longer) and I stand to correction MS themselves, offer these weekends, unfortunately at a cost.
My husband attended one last year in England and it was the tipping point for him. I say this with absolute conviction, it will be worth cutting the family budget to shreads just to get him to one of these workshops.
Unfortunately, through all of this you need to look after yourself but know that it is possible to get through it and when you do, your relationship will be the better for it. PM me if you would like to talk on a more personal note.
South African Male Survivors Of Sexual Abuse
Web page www.samsosa.org