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#428787 - 03/23/13 02:44 AM I didn't discover
DRA Offline


Registered: 02/07/13
Posts: 47
I've been reading Things boys discover quite frequently and realized that I never had the chance to discover these things.

My abuser was a few years older than me. He was "the head honcho" of the group of boys with whom I would hang out. When I would have had the chance to figure discover, he was either occupying our time socially, physically abusing me, or I was "learning" so I could keep his attention for longer spans of time.

When I read Things Boys Discover, I'm filled with sorrowful mourning. Am I alone, or does anyone else feel like this as they read the thread?
_________________________
Strength in power is a false victory rooted in vapid grandiosity. Strength in character and integrity is the freedom to act righteously irrespective of the surrounding pressure. True power is the presence of mind to live with character and integrity.

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#428809 - 03/23/13 10:12 AM Re: I didn't discover [Re: DRA]
Candu Offline


Registered: 06/30/12
Posts: 312
Loc: Canada
I found it too difficult to read.

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#428839 - 03/23/13 03:42 PM Re: I didn't discover [Re: DRA]
genedebs Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/09/12
Posts: 285
Loc: MO
It is as I read it a wish list of experiences I would have liked to have had as a child, but was too busy surviving. I don't have that sorrowful feeling, because I am only now learning that not having those experiences was a loss, and not just the way the cookie crumbles.

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#428854 - 03/23/13 07:04 PM Re: I didn't discover [Re: genedebs]
DRA Offline


Registered: 02/07/13
Posts: 47
Originally Posted By: genedebs
I don't have that sorrowful feeling, because I am only now learning that not having those experiences was a loss, and not just the way the cookie crumbles.


I spent years thinking that it was just the way the cookie crumbles, no matter how painful it felt to never have been able to enjoy childhood. I rejected my feelings as irrelevant and useless - better to forget it and move on. It's more productive. Now I'm trying to acknowledge them because the festering was rotting my heart and
soul.

But how does one continue knowing that there are all these experiences and joys of which I was deprived?
_________________________
Strength in power is a false victory rooted in vapid grandiosity. Strength in character and integrity is the freedom to act righteously irrespective of the surrounding pressure. True power is the presence of mind to live with character and integrity.

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#428963 - 03/24/13 06:13 PM Re: I didn't discover [Re: DRA]
genedebs Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/09/12
Posts: 285
Loc: MO
Dear DRA

For myself to know that the experiences were "stolen" from us, may offer a method to explore experiences which provide connections and joy today, we can not undo our losses of decades ago, but we can invest in our future.

I know that the festering and rotting in my heart and soul are caused by my past which will not change. But, I need to believe that it is possible to become rejuvinated if not today tomorrow.

Have hope and continue the journey.

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#428976 - 03/24/13 06:52 PM Re: I didn't discover [Re: DRA]
Magellan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1390
Loc: California
At the ripe old age of 41, I can say that there is still time to discover!
_________________________
It's a heroes journey, and you are the hero.

Loving Kindness Meditation will dramatically improve your spirits; give it a try for just 3 days: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz7cpV7ERsM

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#428978 - 03/24/13 07:40 PM Re: I didn't discover [Re: DRA]
ThisMan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/22/13
Posts: 767
Loc: upper south
I like that Magellan. There is still time to discover and THANKS for the reminder !
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For now we see through a glass, darkly.



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