Lee,

This is a great post! I've thought about a response for a while. I guess my feelings are that CSA is different for different people. Some victims experience prolonged familial abuse---while others like me experience abuse by a stranger within a shorter period of time. They are both CSA and both are tragedies to the victim.

I don't have a true cycle to break, but I want to avoid working so much that I miss my children's milestones. I say this after a grueling day of travel---but I'm back home after a day of flying---1,500 miles round trip. My dad impressed upon me the regret he feels for being gone so often during my childhood. He traveled so often. "Cats in the Cradle" is his story. He was a great provider for our family, but he traveled to the ends of the Earth to bring home the bacon. His efforts allowed me to live in a comfortable world with lots of opportunity, but Dad's travel left me vulnerable.

A twisted person sensed this and did what he could to take advantage of me. He complimented me. He made me feel more special than the others. Oh i was special...

I don't blame Dad because I became a CSA victim, but perhaps I would have responded differently if he didn't travel so much. Maybe. Maybe not.

I am breaking the chain by being more present in my childrens' lives. I turn down ephemeral opportunity for more lasting dividends. In the process, I want my kids to see me as a the dad who instills confidence. I want them to have the ability to withstand attempts to take advantage of them. I want them to trust their instincts and not walk, but run when their 6th sense tells them to. That gift is priceless---and one my dad taught me---even if it was after I had kids of my own. He still taught me the lesson. Go dad. It's ok. You did a great job raising your son.

Will

.

Same here, my father was great and supportive but not enough present (if present at all sometimes) in my life.
I was shocked when I visited my home from college and when I've seen my dad playing with small nephew wrestling on the floor. In some way I was in shock as I never seen him playing with me and my brother like that. He remarried after my mother died and I guess started some sort of "new life" which included playing with this cute nephew from my step mother's side.
The biggest shock that I felt was when we were discussing my and my bro's further education after we were finishing primary school. My father said that would be better for us to finish some apprenticeship, which means shorter high school and no college. I understood his position as he didn't like to work for others and in some administration where he was but at other hand I loved education so much. My parents never have had to do anything related to my school and me and my brother were always among top students. It has been implied that we will at least try to finish some college. I felt like
he never seen me in real light and like I grown in some shadow world unseen.
Those are some of things that I'm dealing in my therapy lately and that bothered me for long...

Pero