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#427980 - 03/13/13 11:13 PM Re: do you blame your parents for not recognizing it?? [Re: Jacob S]
KMCINVA Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 1540
I do not blame my parents--they were loving. Like all families we had our issues but they were there. The priest made me scared and I had fear I would be taken away. My father in years later asked after having coffee with his cronies and hearing one father speak of abuse in the church asked me. It happened one day when I was driving my father back from dialysis--out of nowhere he asked if I knew this family and he told me what the family learned years later after two of the sons lived very turbulent lives--alcohol, divorce and times of rescuing one son from possible suicide. They were altar boys and my father asked did anything happen to me. I was taken back and did not really answer. He just said, if I ever wanted to talk he was there. Sadly, when I began to face the abuse he had passed. And just three months ago when my Mom was passing and two aid said she kept saying months before her passing I need to help Kevin, some terrible things happened to him. I believe my father may have said something to her. I truly believe they did not believe or think I was being hurt when I was a child, I hid out of fear but I do believe in their last years they had fears and concerns they did not see what happened. My Mom was non responsive for 13 days without food and I finally told her the night before she passed that she could go, I would be alright I have wonderful support (and you all are part of it) and I was in support groups and therapy. The next morning after fighting she passed. So I do not blame my parents--they were there--good and bad times. The abuser groomed me to hide what was happening.

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#428019 - 03/14/13 10:28 AM Re: do you blame your parents for not recognizing it?? [Re: Jacob S]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3296
Loc: back in the USA
this thread reminded me of another one that goes back a while about the obvious signs and symptoms of abuse, called "What did your people miss?":

http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...9375#Post379375

... just in case anyone is in doubt about whether there was really enough for anyone observing to notice!

btw - i was actually taken to our family doctor for some of those conditions - but at the time - NO ONE knew anything about this stuff. AND the doctor was a personal friend of the step-dad's going way back. so - no hope for any help there either.

lee
_________________________
We are often troubled, but not crushed;
sometimes in doubt, but never in despair;
there are many enemies, but we are never without a friend;
and though badly hurt at times, we are not destroyed.
- Paul, II Cor 4:8-9

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#428021 - 03/14/13 10:36 AM Re: do you blame your parents for not recognizing it?? [Re: Jacob S]
OCN Offline


Registered: 02/05/13
Posts: 217
Loc: Western Europe
I don´t blame them, but it wouldve been good if i had been able to disclose it earlier on.. or if they´d figured it out somehow. They´re good support now and i know they´re trying to help me the best way they can..
_________________________
Trust me, you are worth it to love yourself!

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#428042 - 03/14/13 03:23 PM . [Re: Jacob S]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.


Edited by Life's A Dream (04/21/13 10:46 PM)

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#428054 - 03/14/13 06:05 PM Re: do you blame your parents for not recognizing it?? [Re: Jacob S]
bodyguard8367 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""
""


Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/26/14 09:32 PM)
Edit Reason: SILENCED

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#428071 - 03/14/13 08:48 PM Re: do you blame your parents for not recognizing it?? [Re: OCN]
KMCINVA Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 1540
I am glad they are there for you now. I wish mine were here--because I know they would be here for me. Their questions and actions tell me they wanted and still want the best for me.

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#428149 - 03/15/13 12:14 PM Re: do you blame your parents for not recognizing it?? [Re: KMCINVA]
OCN Offline


Registered: 02/05/13
Posts: 217
Loc: Western Europe
Originally Posted By: KMCINVA
I am glad they are there for you now. I wish mine were here--because I know they would be here for me. Their questions and actions tell me they wanted and still want the best for me.

Sorry they're not here anymore m8!

Jeah its nice to have backup when you need it. but i'm starting to think i might have some issues with my dad too.. still trying to prove myself to him in some way.. i might as well work on that too! But all at the right time i hope..


Edited by OCN (03/15/13 12:14 PM)
_________________________
Trust me, you are worth it to love yourself!

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