Good for you!

Make progress on Both paths- professional T and addiction recovery groups.

I had alcohol addiction recovery early inife but didn't deal with the sexual compulsion stuff until years later- big loss.

The past 11 years Ts, books, and 12 step groups for sex addicts were instrumental in helping me reclaim my life, learn intimacy and develop healthy sexuality. T and books have been very important to help me navigate recovery from CSA the past four years.

You are fortunate to be building a new balanced foundation so early on- one day at a time. Enjoy your weekend!!

A balance of both

Hey Southern,
Any of your quotes could have been written by me. We have a lot in common, I guess that why we are here. I have 16 years of sobriety.

Rather than recap my "tales of woe" (you can always read my posts), Let me just tell you that I am one alcoholic, sex addict, messed up CSA survivor, who is starting to see some daylight. Lots of therapy, AA, and support here has made a huge difference in my life. Yeah I still have to FEEL everything and that drives me crazy, but I guess thats what "normal" people do. I don't believe that the pain will ever leave me, but I am learning to live with it. Just like theres no cure for alcoholism, but we learn to live with it.

You are doing all the right things, so just don't give up on yourself. BTW, I have spoken about my CSA at AA meetings because its been a huge contributing factor in my alcoholism. And my recovery from alcoholism has been a huge factor in facing my CSA.

I kept the secret for 42 years. At 39 you still have a lot of life ahead of you. Just face it one day at a time. You'll get there.

Jude

SouthernLaw,

I cannot read your post without feeling intensely how much pain you are in.

I too am a member of several fellowships.

I have heard others discuss how the pain and emotions become unbearable as the alcohol stops working to quiet them.

I think it is incredibly tragic that the one place we got affection is also where we received the ultimate betrayal that sexual violation represents.

I know that death is not an answer. (survivor of that too). I strongly urge you to contact and stay in contact with the Tdoc that you describe. Using a therapist to pave the way and inject safety and trust into a room when you attempt to put things in their place is of Prime Importance. The self medicating, whether you are using drugs, alcohol, food, sex, or risky behavior will only work for moments. Actually entering therapy and opening up with a trustworthy therapist can and does provide lasting and real relief.

Today I am still a (gasp) survivor.

of Incest, of Molestation, of Rape, and of tremendous neglect and rage fueled physical child abuse.

But today, I sleep most nights. (some without dreams).

I no longer quake in fear of disclosing who I am and what it means.

I can place the fear in a box and am not plagued by chaotic emotions.

IT isn't a cakewalk, and I spend 30% of my energy on maintaining relationships with other people in recovery, therapists, I spend time here, I work very hard at learning to cope in healthy ways so that my life becomes a place I CAN LIVE IN!!!


I hope this has helped in some small way.

I love you dude....we are the same.

Geoff

Hi

I'm hoping the best in your situation. I watch the cable programs often and there's sometimes survivors stories that are males, but mostly females. My speed and weed addictions I've been clean from for three years. I don't know how long you've been in recovery. But it get better overtime. Mostly it's willpower. The first year I was constantly having triggers to use. A argument with someone would magnify the need. Anything. After three years there are still situations that makes me want to use. But I know that one snort or puff would only be the start. I'm much more stronger each time I resist and turn to a support for help. I believe that you can be too. I hope all the best for you.