Thanks for sharing this.

the idea of hunting, searching, and finding some level of intimacy ( no matter how false ) has stolen so many hours and days of my time that its painful. It never really delivers connection for me , and only increases my isolation and feelings of brokenness.

The remedy I have found is to avoid it altogether and seek healthy relationships and intimacy of all types- emotional, physical (non sexual) as well as sexual intimacy. Never found that online or from personal ads.

It's been a long time since I got stuck on that old road- I need to get my adrenaline fix and needs for affirmation in more lasting ways. I am grateful for the honesty u bring to this topic.

*****TRIGGER WARNING*****

I fully believe the science and argument of "early mental-imprinting." Consider that for many of us, our first orgasms and first sexual experience is with said abusers. I did the math once: My first 1000 or so orgasms were with the perps, via prolonged anal intercourse (over 7 year period, age 7.5 to 14+).

Some would call that "imprinting". I call it "engraved into my brain's core with a hot iron."

Its hell! Its true HELL. I was never with my wife, in the sanctity of our bed, when those four creeps were not there with me. NEVER!

Its a life-sentence for us; Its an orgasm for them!

I have zero tolerance for perps and those who protect them, mostly because of this life-long residual burden.

EDIT: I know for a fact that some perpetrators read here at MS. Not much of what we say and xperience burns through to their hearts or emotions. But I hope they can at least realize (intellectually or emotionally) that this sticks with us....forever!

I can relate. It is easy for us as survivors to become addicted to things. Constantly working in this in my own life. Great post and topic

hi,

Good to see I'm not alone, I share the same attraction to craigslist.

you said it best

"It's more the adrenaline of the whole process of reading the posts and getting the conversations started"

been caught by my wife twice...working on mending our relationship....i desperately want to stop.

dano

"

Double D

We care about you.

http://www.thenicestplaceontheinter.net/

You NEED a HUG

Re: Hugs versus porn [Re: SamV]
Tarobuns108 Online sleepy


Registered: 03/20/13
Posts: 10
Loc: NJ, USA
Those looking for virtual hugs should go to the nicest place on the internet! If you have a webcam or camera, you can donate a hug, too. smile
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"Don't be ashamed to need help. Like a soldier storming a wall, you have a mission to accomplish. And if you've been wounded and you need a comrade to pull you up? So what?" Meditations of Marcus Aurelius, Book 7:7