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#426646 - 02/27/13 06:30 AM Re: I'm back (new and improved) [Re: Magellan]
Suwanee Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 744
Loc: Southeast USA
Good to see you. Fittingly, it was your thousandth post---perfect time for a reset.

Congratulations on your new progress.

Will
_________________________
Cruel Summer
My Journal

-Signs and traces left in stone
Ruins of a past unknown-

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#426658 - 02/27/13 08:42 AM Re: I'm back (new and improved) [Re: Magellan]
LazyPirate Offline


Registered: 01/03/13
Posts: 106
Loc: Ontario
I tried it... VERY relaxing. Thank you.
_________________________
The Bluebird of Happiness long absent from his life, Ned is visited by the Chicken of Depression. - Gary Larson

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#426660 - 02/27/13 08:52 AM Re: I'm back (new and improved) [Re: Magellan]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1585
Loc: New England
Magellan,

Your post is an answer to prayer. Welcome back, and thanks for leading the way.

Jude
_________________________
Can't be bothered with sorrow
And I can't be bothered with hate, no, no
I'm using up the time but feeling fine every day
That's why I'm telling you
I just want to celebrate another day of livin'
Rare Earth

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#426674 - 02/27/13 01:01 PM Re: I'm back (new and improved) [Re: LazyPirate]
Magellan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1428
Loc: California
Same here.

Try it for a week, every day. See how it impacts your day to day life.

I have to say, I feel like I've found an answer to a life long prayer, that I didn't know I was praying for until just a few months ago.

I owe much of it to MS, to 12 step work, to my sponsor, my therapist, and to Buddhism.

I'm looking forward to being able to live my life without a constant sense of feeling like a victim to simply being alive. I believe, now (wow!), that I can recover this part of my life, and I also believe, now (wow!!), that I can be happy, joyous, and free.

The metta meditation ROCKS.

D

Originally Posted By: LazyPirate
I tried it... VERY relaxing. Thank you.
_________________________
If I'm acting despondent, Please ask me if I'm eating sugar. I keep forgetting sugar makes me crazy.

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#426675 - 02/27/13 01:02 PM Re: I'm back (new and improved) [Re: Jude]
Magellan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1428
Loc: California
Thank you Jude - I can feel that you've been praying for me, and I really really appreciate it.

I can't do anything better than to share my experience here. smile

Originally Posted By: Jude
Magellan,

Your post is an answer to prayer. Welcome back, and thanks for leading the way.

Jude

_________________________
If I'm acting despondent, Please ask me if I'm eating sugar. I keep forgetting sugar makes me crazy.

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#426754 - 02/28/13 10:19 AM Re: I'm back (new and improved) [Re: Magellan]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 2024
Loc: durham, north england
Hi Magellan.

I'm glad you've both made it back and have thought seriously about anger. Disability is not fun, especially! in treatment by others, and a little justified anger and frustration is sort of inevitable, it's just getting the proportions right and not being taken over.

i will look at this meditation myself for the same reason, but in the mean time I'm gla dyou've felt you can be back on ms, since I've often much appreicated reading your posts and have missed seeing them.

Luke.

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#426762 - 02/28/13 11:33 AM Re: I'm back (new and improved) [Re: dark empathy]
Magellan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/31/10
Posts: 1428
Loc: California
Thank you, Luke,

EXACTLY. "disability is not fun, especially in treatment by others, and a little justified anger and frustration is .. inevitable.. it's just getting the proportions right..."

BINGO. I'm angry that I was born with disabiliies, but I think the real source of my anger is how I've been treated because of my disabilities. It's been an unending source of pain, and thus, anger in my life.

Practicing this meditation *seems* to be addressing this, with the little progress and change I've seen, I'll carry on with this meditation and seek to deepen it in my life.

Thanks again for your input, and for the welcome back. I appreciate it.

D

Originally Posted By: dark empathy
Hi Magellan.

I'm glad you've both made it back and have thought seriously about anger. Disability is not fun, especially! in treatment by others, and a little justified anger and frustration is sort of inevitable, it's just getting the proportions right and not being taken over.

i will look at this meditation myself for the same reason, but in the mean time I'm gla dyou've felt you can be back on ms, since I've often much appreicated reading your posts and have missed seeing them.

Luke.
_________________________
If I'm acting despondent, Please ask me if I'm eating sugar. I keep forgetting sugar makes me crazy.

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#426932 - 03/02/13 10:45 AM Re: I'm back (new and improved) [Re: Magellan]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 2024
Loc: durham, north england
Well Magellan on the birth issue, I've never really myself felt a large amount of anger with that since I know my own self assessment to be flawed. i could! curse whatever bad stars caused me to be born with glaucoma, and still more those even further issues that caused the recurrent set of medical bad luck which resulted in me having even less vision than I should, particularly my massive hemmerage at age seven, however such resenttment to me has no cause. There was no decision, no person responsable, no targit to be angry at, ---- indeed now that I am beginning to be able to considder myself objectively I can just as easily identify a few aces in that genetic hand I was dealt, ---- my voice, (deffinately genetic since my grand dad was a tenor), my ability and sense of music (again, genetic given that my gran was a professional pub pianist and all my family have some! musical ability), my intelligence albeit that as a teenager was often a distinctly mixed blessing, and even my physical strength which has it's occasional uses even though I'm not at all interested in sports or the like.

For me, it's all those people who treat me like another species, whome I need to employ considderable social experetees to even get to recognize that I am even vaguely capable, not to mention the people and institutions who simply treat me as though i have a desease or presume to know what I am capable of doing, much less actually become abusive etc (my own sa wouldn't have happened since I'd have not even been! in that school had it not been the only place in the county for kids with visual imparements).

That! makes me angry, however it is my reaction bto that anger that matters and how much it affects me. Being angry and going out to prove someone wrong or force someone to change their mind is one thing, being angry and resentfull to those around me and making their lives miserable is quite another. It's learning to recognize when I am responding in the wrong! way to anger as you might say, and I freely confess I don't always do this well especially if there is a lot! of anger at something but I do continue to try, however it is the recognition of my responses to others and when! I'm giving usefull responses that I'm finding most of help at the moment.

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