Many of us resorted to various addictions to cope with what was done to us. Sex, alcohol, drugs, work, porn have been ways of numbing the pain and escaping the memories. Addictions rarely can be overcome on your own. A good therapist, and a support group (in my case AA) can make all the difference.
...I personally found a partner (wife) that is down for continued exploration and all out all nighters...
And BTW A270465, does your wife have any sisters? LOL
"Suffering was the only thing that made me feel I was alive,
Thought thats just what it cost to survive in this world,
...now I haven't got time for the pain... " -Carly Simon now 67!