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#425118 - 02/12/13 09:38 PM Disturbing Question I Have Been Asked
KMCINVA Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 1753
hello

As you know I have fugues where I wander and can be gone for a short time or several days without knowledge of who I am. Recently I was hospitalized and had been missing for almost three days. I supposedly left very early morning on a Thursday and ended up in the hospital on Saturday evening--the time in between these days I do not know what happened except for a few notes and papers found in my pocket. I live in a home with a soon to be former wife. I was paying the bill for the alarm company and noticed an alarm call for the early morning of the day I left. So I have been asked in support, therapy and psychiatrist why no one came after me when the alarm went off and after almost three days missing no one called the police to check on me. I could not answer--all have said no matter what one feels for a person, humanity calls one to show concern if someone is missing or in danger. I was asked why I did not ask why a call was not made when missing for three days. I said it would not be worth it. It just made me realize, what you do for others in the past means little unless they truly appreciate you and we as humans have good people with compassion who put differences aside to ensure safety for all and those who turn their backs because of fear and those who deliberately do to try to show they are superior. I was told the lack of action shows their true character.

I hope my feelings are not true, but others around me have expressed concern that one could be missing for three days and show no concern. Are others views the reality of the character of the people around me?


Edited by KMCINVA (02/12/13 09:49 PM)

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#425136 - 02/13/13 03:39 AM Re: Disturbing Question I Have Been Asked [Re: KMCINVA]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3618
Loc: South-East Europe
Hi KMCINVA,
I'm so sorry to hear what happened.
And it is really sad that no one called or checked where you are and especially knowing about your problems.
Could you try to find some support from your friends and rely on defining some scheduled talks and checks as sort of precautionary measure?
I can't judge people around you but simple fact that this is not the first such situation speaks more than enough.
Please try to find some support and care outside of people who are not supportive.
You can count on us here also!
(((KMCINVA)))

Pero
_________________________
My story

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#425177 - 02/13/13 12:40 PM Re: Disturbing Question I Have Been Asked [Re: KMCINVA]
cant_remember Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/05
Posts: 1045
KMC,

It seems that you are dissociating and that you are not co-conscious with the alter that does the wandering, thus leaving you in a multi-day blackout, which isn't good.

We invite your alter to come here and share with us too. It's safe for him to tell us where he takes you, if he wants to share.

Cant
_________________________
Recovery is possible. Hang in there, brothers.

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#425183 - 02/13/13 01:18 PM Re: Disturbing Question I Have Been Asked [Re: KMCINVA]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6574
Loc: Never Sugar Mountain
Originally Posted By: KMCINVA
I was told the lack of action shows their true character.

I hope my feelings are not true, but others around me have expressed concern that one could be missing for three days and show no concern. Are others views the reality of the character of the people around me?


Yes.

Other's actions, inactions and seeming lack of interest are a reflection of their character. Today's culture pumps-out some very self centered dip-shits. its SO wrong, but they will never see it that way, as they are meeting their objective of serving their own needs only.

Just 10 years ago, some (SOME) adults and teens from this Norman Rockwell town of mine would ensure the old ladies and widows got their walkways dug-out of snow and ice. Not any more!

20 Years ago, the men of the church would ensure the same widows' homes were in good repair, she had heating fuel, painted outer, safe stairs. Not now.

Its discouraging!
_________________________
You are using 118 of the 300 allowed characters.

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#425189 - 02/13/13 02:27 PM Re: Disturbing Question I Have Been Asked [Re: KMCINVA]
Lancer Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
Primarily, I'm glad you're okay KMC. I can't imagine how disorienting and scary the whole experience - "wtf?" doesn't begin to describe it - would be for you. What you've described of others while you were "out" disgusts me...and I'll echo cant's invitation to your alter.

To get to your question: A general guide I picked up in meetings years ago was to observe whether what people say/do is usually the same thing. Umm....SOME of us - guilty as charged - need a little help in that area. Side benefit it that it's help me develop my scoping - with an s - skills over the years. It's been a good guide and has saved me from lots of problems.

I've applied it to friendship choices, doctor and T choices (several recently) and, yeah, the choice of which family members are worthy of my trust. Which brings up another thot, trust is earned.

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#425228 - 02/13/13 08:44 PM Re: Disturbing Question I Have Been Asked [Re: KMCINVA]
KMCINVA Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 1753
thank you. People were shocked when they heard I was missing for almost three days and when asked did anyone come after you when I left the house or call me missing they were more shocked. Shock and disgust with the people who should have some concern was vocally expressed. I tried to dismiss but know in my heart their compassion and concern for human life--was I alive or dead--did not exist. Everyone says this shows who they are as people--small, self centered and have issues of their own. I am resigned to this fact and will rebuild. I also realize their lives are far from perfect and they hide their own secrets and deficiencies. Some need to have love at whatever cost but in the end it is not love but guilt, manipulation or control. To me it was an eye opener--but I will never forget what I did for them but now must live for myself and people who care and show concern for me. It is life and I cannot let people hold me back.

Writing sometimes allows me to see the truth that I try to hide.


Edited by KMCINVA (02/13/13 08:50 PM)

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#425229 - 02/13/13 09:02 PM Re: Disturbing Question I Have Been Asked [Re: KMCINVA]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3493
Loc: somewhere in Africa
KMC - i think the following message has been implied and assumed in all of the responses above - but i want to state it clearly and unambiguously:

their treatment of you - neglect, apathy and disregard for your welfare and safety - are NOT reflections of YOUR value.

they have treated you as if you did not matter, had no significance and little to no worth.

BUT that is not true. it reveals who and what they are but says nothing about you.

YOU are valued and accepted and cherished and loved by other survivors who have shared in our common journeys together.

PLEASE do not let their false evaluations define you to yourself.

you are precious and of inestimable value in yourself.

Lee
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#425263 - 02/14/13 08:53 AM Re: Disturbing Question I Have Been Asked [Re: KMCINVA]
KMCINVA Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 1753
Thank you. It has troubled me since I was first asked about the inaction and their emotional ability to let someone wander without concern. I did not think of it but sometimes it takes an outsider to see things we miss when surrounded by it. I guess denial was my way of handling such disregard for my safety and well being. I guess denial has been a means for me to cope over the years--but facing it gives me hope that I can distance myself from further emotional damage.

Thanks and I hope all is well with everyone here.

Kevin


Edited by KMCINVA (02/14/13 09:00 AM)

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