You've taken a big step toward recovery just by posting what you have here. Good job. Now run with it. Keep being open about it all. Get a trauma therapist and do recovery work. And keep reading and posting when you feel comfortable doing so. We're glad you found us.
"But now old friends are acting strange,
they shake their heads, they say I've changed.
Something's lost but something's gained in living every day
....it's life's illusions I recall, I really don't know life at all. "Joni Mitchell