Hello,

I've barely survivored my CSA and recent abuse about a year ago. I feel like maybe if I start talking about what happened to me not just to my therapist, I could feel a little better and somewhat move on. The problem is I don't even know where to start, I've always kept myself to myself and I have always been withdrawn/isolated. I did try an open up once, to someone I though I could trust but that didn't end well at all. Any words of advice about taking the first steps?

Hi xxanxus
and welcome.

Starting is hard, but you've actually made a really good start in posting on this site since whatever happened to you, whatever your feeling this is a perfectly safe place to express it and get some great responses, so congrats on taking that step especially after so short a time (it took me ten years to even recognize that what happened to me had any affect at all).

As to where to start, well there really isn't a set method. Some people begin with a T, others, like myself come onto this site and post their thoughts, then do a full story. other people prefer disclosing to a close friend or family member first and then use this site as a way of sorting out their own reactions. This is your journey and you are the one who chooses how to take it, but whatever you decide to do the guys on this site are a great bunch who will be quite happy to listen and empathize and share experiences.

So, have a read of the boards, maybe chime in with some threads, post your story if you wish or just take things slowly if you don't, but you can say you've made a good first step.

Sorry you had to be here, though glad you are.

Luke.

You have started here to open up.

Read what you can in these forums. Use the search to look for any keywords that you think describe your situation. Chances are you can find posts about them.

And then begin to tell your story here when you're ready. Look at the Introductions and Survivor Stories forums.

Cant

Seeking this place is a great start- there are tons of resources and men here to offer their support, their experience, and their hope.

Breathe.

Know you are on a journey of healing and safety and growth- and that you are learning to truly take care of yourself in this life.

Welcome!

Welcome--you are beginning your journey. The T is an excellent place but here offers you support from others who understand the abuse, we have lived with it for a lifetime.

New abuses can be triggers for the CSA--reminding you of the feelings and emotions you buried--isolation, violation, pain and feelings of not being worthy. You need to feel safe. Please go at a pace you are comfortable with, share when ready and share only things you are comfortable sharing. It is a journey but in the end, everyone's hope is for a better tomorrow.

Kevin

Welcome. Sorry you had to be here, but you're in great company. I don't have much to add to what my brothers have said. I think Cant summarized my approach.

And, yeah, reading too much all at once is too much. It's okay to take breaks, ok?

xxanxus,

It sure does help to talk with others, just don't expect anything from them when you do. Some people are better at taking this kind of story than others, so if you see someone shutting down a bit, let them know it's OK. They might need your support in hearing it as much as you need theirs.

Also don't share the story for the first time when you're driving. The first time I shared my story was when a friend asked me "What's up with you and your dad?" i was driving us home from the beach, and i started telling him, and it was like the light went out of the sky, really strange. His response was awesome, but I shouldn't have been driving.

Best wishes! This is an exciting part of the journey.

Danny