Well I found this site over a year ago and have been on to research some topics and get resource information. I'm just now registering because I'm at a point where I just really need some support for myself and have some questions that I can't seem to find the answers to. Everyone here seems so nice and supportive. I'm excited to be a more active participant here
Well my husband and I have been together 6 years (married 5). I knew his past was full of demons when we got together. His dad left right after he was born, his mother was a horrible and useless person who brought home a new abusive boyfriend every week. He was put into foster care at age 10 and landed in a family that was abusive and oppressive (and apparently that wasn't even close to the worst of it). I knew his adoptive father had beat him nearly to death when he was 16 for standing up to him (he had to have a story for this b/c his back is covered from neck to rump and across both sides in scars), but he had always lied about the reason.
It wasn't until last year, about this time when I was pregnant with our first son (I'm pregnant again now!) that he let slip about the sexual abuse while we were having a heated discussion about something. The last year has been a crazy roller coaster. He has spent a long time facing issues that he'd buried for almost 15 years, learning about himself and making great progress. He has shared a great deal with me and we have been able to work through this together as a team.
I immediately started searching the internet and found books to read to help me better understand what had happened to him, the long-term effects, and how I could be the best support person possible for him. In the last few weeks I would even says he's venturing on the edge of *really* making a big leap of letting go of his anger. Truly ready to "move on" and focus on the present and future instead of the past. I'm very proud of him and love him so much, but CSA has taken a great toll on me personally, and there are still issues that some days I feel like we'll NEVER get past.
I'm hoping that my participation here will help *me* recover from the grudges and frustrations that I have. That I will be able to learn things about him that he still can't articulate for himself. That I will gain new levels of patience and understanding. Thank you all in advance for your help along the way! I will do my best to offer insight on my experiences when I think I can help