So I mentioned in a previous post that H told a friend about his CSA a few months ago. She is a cousin of his and I was surprised because they aren't that close. Since then I have noticed H looking up new stories on his phone about kids that have been molsted. But he hasn't said anything to me about his abuse. I grew really frustrated a week ago and was venting to this cousin about how worried I was about him moving forward and our relationship. She told me that she felt like I was looking at his situation as someone who had been there and delt with it already. And that he was looking at it as someone who was just starting out on the healing journey. What looks like a rock in the road to me looks like a giant boulder to him. I paused and thought about this and concluded that she is right. It really helped me change my perspective and feel patient and compassionate again. I have just been leaving his csa alone and letting him go at his own pace. A couple nights ago I was upstairs and overheard him talking to a guy buddy. He told him that he was molested and that he never let anyone get close to him and used being mean to keep people away. Now he realized that was a problem and that I was helping him work through it. YAY! For him I'm so happy he is seeing himself with some clarity and talking to someone about it. And YAY it feels great to know that my support through the years has not been a waste. Hearing him talk about it even for a min made me feel so good inside. Another small step forward. I can't wait till he is ready to go see the therapist on his own but for now I will take a moments to be happy for the progress that has been made.
Keep calm and carry on!