Hey Will *HUGS*
First off, I just wanted to say that this post was real brave of you. I know whenever I share my story, even but snippets, it is very tiring and strenuous.
I think that both perps used the power of manipulation and coersion to get what they wanted. The friend's stepdad used fear and his "control" issues, and maybe too because of his position as an adult, more "mature", and physically much more powerful than 11 year old boys, to scare you and the other boys into doing what he wanted. The other used guilt, or a sense that you were "repaying" him for alleged friendship, or kindness. That is definitely a notabe constrast in their forms of manipulation.
People are all different, and just as victims are diverse, so too are our abusers. They have used all kinds of means to exploit us, and we have all kinds of issues be it stemming from trust, intimacy, connectability, self-worth, guilt.... and the list goes on. I feel that you are very couragous and intelligent to have pointed out this difference in your CSA experiences and to have articulated it. HUGS It takes a lot. They both may have affected you equally, but resulting in different "side-effects" if we could call it that.
But as I am sure you know, by identifying the complexity of our CSA and how it affects us, we are much better suited to tackle it and recover.
Thank you once again for sharing. Could I give you another hug?
,,Nun ging es immerzu, weit, weit bis an der Welt Ende."