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#416854 - 11/21/12 07:30 PM Re: Revealing Past Abuse and Getting Over It [Re: charlesxy]
charlesxy Offline


Registered: 06/09/12
Posts: 30
Thanks for sharing your story, ALovingMum. I am sorry that you and your son had to go through such trauma.

Were the authorities able to do anything based on your son's descriptions?

Based on your story, I am wondering now if I should been aware of what was happening even thought I was between the ages of 4-6 (not sure exactly). I simply did not understand what was happening at the time. The abuser made it seem like it was all a game and since I had no idea what sex or sexual acts were, how was I too know any better?

Then again, I do remember that the last time he tried to abuse me, I resisted. I still didn't know what sex was, but there was something about the way he wanted me to touch him that simpy didn't seem right to my 6 yr old self.

I assume my girlfriend and any other woman I meet (assuming it doesn't work out with my gf) who wants to have children will have a problem with me not wanting to leave children with anyone.

Either one parent has to stop working, or a grandparent will have to be the de facto babysitter.

It truly is amazing how what happened to me as a small child has such reverberations well into my adulthood.

I think I want to tell, but I am beginning to pinpoint my hesitation: If I tell and my parents believe, I think it will help me heal and possibly mitigate my desire for revenge if my parents believe me and are understanding.

However, if they don't believe, it will be doubly devastated, by both the abuse and the fact that they did not believe me.

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#417001 - 11/23/12 10:58 AM Re: Revealing Past Abuse and Getting Over It [Re: charlesxy]
frankie72 Offline


Registered: 11/23/12
Posts: 32
Loc: Australia
I can't help you when it comes to disclosing information to family or loved ones, as I haven't been able to do that myself except for the rare occassion. I don't want to bring up the negatives to dissuade you, but I have never felt enough trust to tell my parents, or even my wife.

Why I am posting is because you mentioned the possibility of having children. I always thought I never wanted to have children, but when I had my daughter, it is probably the happiest thing that has ever happened to me. Just seeing her each day helps me stay more balanced.

I do get criticised of being over protective of her though, much like ALovingMum was talking about. Last thing i would ever want to happen is for my child to experience what I have been through.

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#417025 - 11/23/12 04:32 PM Re: Revealing Past Abuse and Getting Over It [Re: charlesxy]
charlesxy Offline


Registered: 06/09/12
Posts: 30
frankie,

thanks for the post. i could kind of understand your parents, but won't wife want (or perhaps deserve) to know why you parent they way you do.

do you ever leave daughther outside the care of non-family members?

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#417078 - 11/24/12 10:35 AM Re: Revealing Past Abuse and Getting Over It [Re: charlesxy]
frankie72 Offline


Registered: 11/23/12
Posts: 32
Loc: Australia
My wife actually knows I am a cynical, anti-social, and suffer from depression, though she doesn't know exactly why. Also when I was younger, I was studying to get into law enforcement and spent some time in the field during my studies.

Being involved in that really open your eyes to a completely different world from the regular people who live day to day. I don't envy them for their jobs, but I'm sure each of us has experienced elements of that hidden society in our past.

As part of my way of hiding, I have found excuses to cover m protectiveness of my daughter. Apart from Day Care two days a week, a majority of the time she is with either my wife or I. There would probably only be a handful of times she is not with either of us, and it is only with people I know really well that I would allow to care for her in those rare occassions.

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