Howling can be a soft act, like crying until exhaustion.

The moons continue to come and go, to change, and reveal themselves, and nothing is moved, adjusted, or different. No one comes to me with a useful solution. I am still broken, feel unheard, and I leave this message in the sand (here) because I have no faith in any one on MS, and I continue to miss out on the support that I need, or the reconciliation that I must find with my family, to see beyond this pain or to improve my life.

I'm sorry you feel that way. I don't know your situation or circumstances, but I an tell you that you are not alone. Every survivor has bee where you are at some time.

It's hard when no one will listen, no one will believe, but keep searching, someone will. I will because I know the worst that humans can do to one another. You see they almost did it to me and, did do the worst to one close to me. And no death is not the worst, I've seen and heard of worse, I know a man had lived worse.

It does get better, never right but better.

Dear Lenz,

There is no solution but to keep moving forward, feel the feelings, and trust God for the rest. Even the smallest amount of faith you can muster is enough.

I complained to my T today that I feel like I'm not making any progress. He reminded me that I've only been dealing with this for about 8 weeks. Seems like yours to me. Your years must feel like an eternity to you. We're in the same boat. You don't have to trust us, just row with us till we can see the other side.

Jude