I'm glad some of my rambling is vaguely usefull. What I find is there are so many fluctuations it's unbelieveable. I've been fine for the last few days, indeed extremely cheerfull, but I'm almost certain that this will not last, that I'll cycle down again at some point.
one of the hardest things I'm finding about the lengthening cycles, is that most people who know about my abuse tend to think I'm okay most of the time, without realizing everything is still there, just at a slower pace, and that in the future it'll recur, then again, there's not a lot I can do about this sinse my efforts to cope with genophobia aren't meeting with much success.
As to life style change, well I'm sort of doing that myself, or at least will be when my thesis is finished, the only irritating thing is that I have to finish the bloody thing first, indeed, aside from anything to do with abuse I really! need a change, so I applaud your decision.