Phoenix, You can do this, make a list of the positives things in your life, there are always good things around you sometimes you just need to look really hard for it, it is there everyone in life has something to offer. In today world of "fast food sociaty" a lot of people just accept things to happen over night, the Madison Ave attiude as I call. We see things on TV, advertisement etc that tell us dont work for what you want but get now and pay for it later. With dealing with my personal issues I been there too I too have done this and pay for my actions/emotioins later, it is my advice to work toward recovery and never stop working on understanding your feelings, the hard you work for something the happier you will be of it and the easier it will be to manage the negativey that is around you.