I had to go back and read the early posts in this thread. As victor has illustrated so well, it's not an easy answer. Will summarized nicely.

My lying was, yeah, a survival mechanism more related to an abusive household where telling the truth, even in response to an innocuous question, would have disastrous consequences:
"Did you have a good time at your Dad's?"
"Yeah, I had a great time."
"The only reason you like it there is because they spoil you!" (an angry, vicious Mommybitch rant that would then continue for days)

Regarding the CSA, when I told the truth to my high school guidance counselor ("I'm gay"), he used it as information to rape me over nearly a year.

It's taken me dozens of years to get into the conscious habit of telling the truth. It generally remains a conscious choice. Often it's not as difficult as I think, say, in recounting a personal story without embellishment. Other times it difficult, particularly when I feel some part of my survival is at stake. Even as an adult, in situations where I feel I should be able to be candid with "authority" figures, for example, I've often been disappointed, invalidated, or just plain angry that my honesty isn't respected. Therefore, I share a bit at a time, note the response and proceed from there. Simply, there are lots of people with agendas for whom honesty, exercising it or honoring it, is irrelevant.

I have a couple friends and relatives - count 'em on one hand - with whom I can be honest, even when it's hard. Most of the time that's enough. I just did it with a cousin the other day concerning his dead mother's part in estranging me from the family. He'd suspected as much...and then told me one reason I was his favorite cousin was that he could count on my honesty. Then again, we have the advantage of our respective 12-step programs. With some people I just don't care (no emotional investment) and I choose honesty, no embellishments.

Others who have violated my honesty (specifically, my trust) get cut off. Sometimes with explanation. Sometimes without, if it's clear they have no moral compass.

I think what it comes down to is determining who is worthy of my trust.

I never valued honesty.
It was very difficult to see it as anything but an invitation for attack. However, Since I got sober (about 20 years) I have tried to be honest. I rarely am able to be honest when I understand what happened through my delusions.

Giving up my delusions has made me feel much more vulnerable and less able to minimize the experiences and my reaction. For example, when my mother had me undress so her friend could take pictures, it is not a crazy experience. It was incestuous and resulted in pornographic pictures. But I could not have said that until I got to this site.

My therapist in 1989 told me it was incest. But until I got here I would not have called it pornographic. But, what else can it be called? Why take pictures of a naked 12 year old boy with an erection. I can no longer come up with lies I can believe.

You have heard from many of us, that we lied almost without thought, but we are trying to be honesty.

We all have different stories, and we all are just the same.

Heh. Funny. To quote my father's recent statement to me: "You lie like you breathe"