It's been 2 months since filing my civil suit, here is an update: The abuser (defendant) filed a preliminary objection saying my Complaint lacked specifics. I revised and resubmitted an amended complaint containing those specifics. Also the abuser claims he has no recollection of me, and that I am jumping on the bandwagon of other high profile cases. Waiting for abuser's next response.

B2N,

While I respect wholeheartedly all that you are doing, (especially so since I was unable to take action to press charges against any of my multiple perps) I fear for your well being.

Becoming aligned with a specific outcome can be damaging. I respectfully submit that you need extra special care during this process. I suggest the following:

1) Ensure you have an ongoing relationship with a theraputic resource.

2) Ensure that you have awareness of your life, beware putting things on hold or stopping any activities you enjoy until "this is over".

3) Remember that your actions in filing the civil suit are so validating, that in and of themselves the documents represent a VICTORY. whether the court finds in your favor or not.


I don't intend to pour water on the parade, for truly this is something to celebrate, but recommend additional steps be taken while in pursuit of public justice.


Good Luck Geoff

Did I miss something in this thread? Did I misunderstand something? My first question in following the thread is why oh why you wouldn't use competent legal representation in this matter. Unlike bodyguard, I'm gonna turn a firehose on the parade. Reality check:

This is no time, imo, to engage in DIY. You think you're working on a hobby car's engine? It's likely the defendant WILL have legal representation. And you have NONE. You're dealing with adults. Do you really, really think, out of "respect" for you, he's going to do it himself, too? This isn't Small Claims Court. If I was in his position I'd literally take out a second mortgage to hire the nastiest legal guns I could afford. I can almost guarantee his attorney(s) will make mincemeat of you...and you may face a countersuit.

They'll get you confused, make you say things you don't mean to say, and kill your case. They're going to hire a PI and investigate every corner of your life, including, if they can make the connection, every one of the 254 public post you've made here on MS.

Do you even have the legal background to represent yourself? If you're asking about "how to file", then, no, you don't. I'm sorry to be the one to slap you down, brother, but you're definitely in over your head. (Better me, however, than the defendant's attorney).

It sounds as if he already has representation - to wit, "complaint lacks specifics" - and has you already jumping through hoops to amend. His attorney, by filing the objection, was also giving you a way out of this (a subtlety it sounds as if you didn't recognize). Defendant's already establishing himself as the Alpha dog and you're going along with it. He's made a potentially valid legal argument, too - probably the basis of his attorney's defense - that you're "jumping on the bandwagon". If I was the judge in the case, I'd have no choice but to agree and dismiss...possibly award his attorney fees as well. imo, from what little I can glean from the thread, you're setting yourself up to be re-victimized. imo, you're also setting yourself up to be (successfully) sued yourself.

You may be under the impression you "can't afford" an attorney. Wrong. Right now, you can't afford NOT to have an attorney.

From my own experience, here's how it goes: Consultations are typically free. If not, find someone else. Reputable attorneys on civil matters like this will work on contingency. Their fees are typically 40% of any judgment or settlement plus expenses. Just finding a competent attorney who specializes in these cases and with whom you are absolutely comfortable (i.e., someone to whom you can be/MUST be completely honest) can take weeks, if not months.

Wake up call put indelicately: you've really got your ass in the wringer. Find an attorney NOW who, even if he can't salvage it - personally, I have my doubts - can keep you from doing any more damage to yourself. I believe a responsible T, too, would have given you the same advice. So, I'd suggest finding a T as well.