Newest Members
lilac, The Wife Of, smusab, whiteflag, North101
12287 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
DruidWolf (39), Harry (33), knigh50 (53), mike54 (56)
Who's Online
5 registered (don64, Shockwave, lostsoul824, pufferfish, 1 invisible), 22 Guests and 3 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12287 Members
73 Forums
63212 Topics
442003 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 2 of 4 < 1 2 3 4 >
Topic Options
#927 - 10/03/05 02:22 AM Re: Survivor - What does it mean?
Grunty1967b Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/28/05
Posts: 823
Loc: Australia
My first response is a suggestion that everybody re-reads ROADRUNNER's post. I think it is so spot on Larry. Thankyou. I almost don't feel I can add anything further that is worthy but here goes anyway.

Being a Survivor for me means acknowledging that bad sexual abuse happended to me as a child, it was wrong, it wasn't my fault and it's the reason why so many things are out of whack in my life and emotions. All basic abuse survivor 101 stuff I know, but it helps knowing why and knowing that it's not just me being messed up for no particular reason.


Top
#928 - 10/03/05 06:34 AM Re: Survivor - What does it mean?
Russ2 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/28/03
Posts: 77
Way to go Roadrunner/Larry!


Top
#929 - 10/03/05 07:04 AM Re: Survivor - What does it mean?
Bobby Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/01/04
Posts: 1287
Loc: Arizona
I'm here. I made it. When life tried to beat me, I survived. I was strong. I am strong. No matter how bad it gets, life won't get me, because I long ago decided....when I was a small child....that, if this is the way it was going to be, I'd be one of the ones who made it. I'm just too damn mean to give in.

Now, that said, I have a terrible time surviving me. They/He are not going to beat me, but what about that strong little guy inside me who decided to win at all costs, who put his vulnerability away, put his hard little head down and charged into life? The final fight for survival is between us. The hurt didn't go away, it was just pushed aside for awhile until there was time to take it out and look at it again. The old me didn't even know it was there until it came bursting forth seemingly out of nowhere...with a vengeance.

And now being a survivor means a whole different thing. I have survived life through pure will. Now it's not enough just to be strong. Now I have to have more. Now I have to understand instead of just accepting all of those things...the baggage...that I carried with me through life. Now I have to be healthy. Now I have to overcome "him" and what he did and how I reacted, and I have to bring feeling back to that little guy who put it away so long ago.

Before, being a survival meant getting through life at all costs and coming out the other side alive and strong. Now being a survivor means recapturing all of those feeling parts of me I had to put in safe keeping to do that. Bobby

_________________________
I'm healing now, and I wasn't sure I would.




Top
#930 - 10/03/05 08:46 AM Re: Survivor - What does it mean?
Andrew Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/25/03
Posts: 1192
Contributing to the community. Peace, Andrew

_________________________
there is no courage without anxiety

Top
#931 - 10/05/05 02:46 AM Re: Survivor - What does it mean?
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16264
Gosh Bobby, It's like you read my mind. How did you do that? What you described as your view of "Survival" is taken right out of my playbook.

Bless you for putting into words what I could not.

Courage,

John

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

Top
#932 - 10/07/05 03:24 AM Re: Survivor - What does it mean?
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16264
Thanks a bunch guys for posting what "survivor" means to you. It has really helped me a whacking lot.

I go back and read this periodically just to make sure I remember some of the things you said so that when the dark moments come I can remember them and begin to think more positively.

Courage,

John

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

Top
#933 - 10/07/05 05:17 AM Re: Survivor - What does it mean?
Nobbynobs Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/26/05
Posts: 1286
Loc: Toronto
It means nothing to me. It is the latest buzzword to hide what we really are: victims. I didn't survive anything. I was the victim of a monster hidden in human form and no buzzword is going to change that or help me recover. Nor will my recovery take place by identifying myself with the latest catch phrase. I was a victim. Now I am not. Simple as that.

_________________________
When you go up to the bell, ring it! Or don't go up to the bell.

- Mel Brooks

Top
#934 - 10/07/05 07:56 AM Re: Survivor - What does it mean?
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16264
Ok, Nobby. That's an interesting way to look at it. Sort of where I started some time back. When you say you didn't survive anything, I assume you mean that figuratively since you were alive enough to post your reply.

I really would like you to unpack what you said a little more if you would since in a way I can relate to what you say. Just not able to verbalize it. It could be of help since to me it doesn't seem quite as "simple as that"

Courage,

John

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

Top
#935 - 10/07/05 11:54 AM Re: Survivor - What does it mean?
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Nobby,

Like John, I would like to hear a bit more about what you meant in your post. I don't say this to confront you, just to ask.

In one way I would agree: nothing (not a buzzword or anything else) can change what happened. But to say "I am a victim" means what? In an SA context I would take that to mean "I was harmed for the sake of someone else's gratification". But how then is it that you are no longer a victim?

I suppose any term can be loaded with meaning for some and just a buzzword for others. Maybe it would be helpful for you to discuss a bit more fully how you feel about this.

Take care,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#936 - 10/07/05 02:57 PM Re: Survivor - What does it mean?
The Seeker Offline
Member

Registered: 04/10/05
Posts: 141
Loc: Ohio, USA
I think the word survivor has two meanings. First, if we are still here, then we survived the abuse and were not destroyed by it either by the perps of such abuse, at our own hands, or through self-destructive behaviors. Personally, I considered suicide alot. Second, survivor also implies what Roadrunner spelled out as an active healing process. I like to think of this as a "practicing survivor", not someone living passively and just hanging on that survived as in the first example, but someone engaged in healing and the discovery of all the good things that actually do exist in this world, including themselves. But it is true, to be a survivor is to be wounded physically/mentally/spiritually, and that like any severe wound there are bound to be scars that linger throughout our lives - an unfortunately reality. I refer to mine as the invisible 800-lb gorilla in my back pocket. Thanks for the thread John, I grew a little bit reading all the responses.

Thanks again,
John

_________________________
The answers are in me.

Top
Page 2 of 4 < 1 2 3 4 >


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.