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#9399 - 04/23/03 12:44 AM How to explain?
Sick Puppy Offline
Member

Registered: 03/30/03
Posts: 300
Loc: Nowhere Land
I have a little bit of a problem.

At some other forums I post at (they are just casual, joking-around forums; they have no specific focus or aim) some of the women like to hit on me as a joke. I am alright with this. The nature of the forums is joking around, and I have the same sort of attitude there. However, one or two of them have gotten more serious about it, to the point that it makes me VERY uncomfortable. I guess a normal guy would either be flattered or shrug it off, but it upsets me a lot, I guess because it ties into my abuse and reminds me of how my mother acted to me. One woman in particular seems to have a big crush on me, almost to the point of "stalking" me and making sexual comments in all my threads.

I talked to the admin of the forum (he is a friend of mine) about the problem, but he told me not to worry about it. He said that she was just lonely and flirtatious. I didn't want to anger him or inconvience him so I apologized for bothering him and didn't say any more, but I'm still really bothered by this woman's behavior. I know that she doesn't mean any harm, so I don't want to upset her or hurt her feelings by asking her to stop... but it scares me to some degree, and makes me feel triggered, and upset, and paranoid. People joke around sexually a lot on the forums, which is fine with me, but this is definitely more serious and less of a joke.

What do I do?

_________________________
And one day we will die
And our ashes will fly
From the aeroplane over the sea
But for now we are young
Let us lay in the sun
And count every beautiful thing we can see


Neutral Milk Hotel - In the Aeroplane Over the Sea

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#9400 - 04/23/03 03:32 PM Re: How to explain?
Mike Church Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/23/03
Posts: 3439
Loc: Toronto, Canada
Pups:
Have you thought about just taking a breather from that particular spot. To sort of cool down the atmosphere. The joking around has as you say become almost a stalking and is triggering you and you dont need that at all.

You can come here all you want and while we do joke sometimes it is never at someone's expense or meant to embarass them. So stick with us for a while Pups.

You see I have given you a knic. You are not the same sick puppy who arrived here just a short time ago.

Your brother

Mike

_________________________
Mikey

IT REALLY IS OK TO STUMBLE. NONE OF US ARE PERFECT.

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#9401 - 04/23/03 03:36 PM Re: How to explain?
Sick Puppy Offline
Member

Registered: 03/30/03
Posts: 300
Loc: Nowhere Land
Well Mike, that may have to be the solution, but I do have a lot of friends there, and enjoy posting there. I am also a moderator of one of the forums... so if I left for a while there might be problems. \:\(

_________________________
And one day we will die
And our ashes will fly
From the aeroplane over the sea
But for now we are young
Let us lay in the sun
And count every beautiful thing we can see


Neutral Milk Hotel - In the Aeroplane Over the Sea

Top
#9402 - 04/23/03 07:22 PM Re: How to explain?
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
SP
I'm no expert, but can you bar individual people from contacting you - like we can here for PM's ?

Dave

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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#9403 - 04/23/03 09:25 PM Re: How to explain?
Mike Church Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/23/03
Posts: 3439
Loc: Toronto, Canada
Pups I like Lloyds suggestion if you can do it.

Either way what you do not need is triggers

Mike

_________________________
Mikey

IT REALLY IS OK TO STUMBLE. NONE OF US ARE PERFECT.

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