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#9204 - 08/17/06 04:27 AM Re: Drinking
OKIE MIKE Offline
Member

Registered: 02/13/04
Posts: 982
Loc: HULBERT OK
Just rember (HALT) do not let your self get Hungry Angry Lonely or Tired

_________________________
MICHAEL

"I HAD NO SHOES THEN I SAW A MAN THAT HAD NO FEET"

"All I can do is be me, whoever that is"

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#9205 - 08/17/06 01:10 PM Re: Drinking
Jaysen Offline
Member

Registered: 06/14/06
Posts: 680
You're a lucky bastard, I didn't even get the T-shirt! \:\)

I made it almost 5 days then fell off the wagon big-time last night! This morning it feels like it was about a 100 story fall. Did anyone get the license plate of that truck that just ran my ass over? damn...

Jay


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#9206 - 08/18/06 03:40 AM Re: Drinking
caointeoir Offline
Member

Registered: 05/26/06
Posts: 37
jaysen,

i'm hurting for you here. i've been in the same place a lot over the past years. and i'm still there.

Quote:
posted by Jaysen:
If I knew this 'not drinking' thing came with all these new feelings I wouldn't have stopped. Or I would have replaced with something... like heroin.

Of course I'm kidding about that... kind of...
i know that kind of feeling, too, although i had it the other way around. i don't know much about being addicted to alcohol, but i know my share about heroin. you do not want to do that.
if you feel tempted, please pm me and we'll talk about it.
you are too valuable a person to go down that road. i don't want that for you. i don't want it for anyone, but i especially don't want it for you.

Quote:

I'm feeling very negative, very cynical, completely alone. I don't usually feel those things. Then again I don't usually feel much of anything.
i'm with you there.
there are a lot of feelings that are not good. that are scary.
however there are just as many feelings that are very good. that you will feel again when you let them find you, by staying off the booze. real life, so i'm learning every passing day, is just as powerful a drug.

yes alcohol will make you not feel for a while. as will heroin. but... the horror always comes back.

you want to feel because the good feelings are what makes life worthwile. at least it has been like that for me. because good just feels so good when you're not drunk or stoned. it feels pure. it feels real. it feels better than any artificial rush. way better.

i'm hurting with you about the relapse. i'm thinking good thoughts of you. if you need someone to talk to, i'm here and i would feel privileged to talk to you. be good to yourself.


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#9207 - 08/18/06 12:58 PM Re: Drinking
Jaysen Offline
Member

Registered: 06/14/06
Posts: 680
Thanks, really that means a lot!

Jay


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#9208 - 08/18/06 03:34 PM Re: Drinking
Hauser Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/05
Posts: 2962
Loc: United States
Cao made a great point when he said that real life feelings are much better than artificial rushes. I have yet to fully realize what he means but I believe him. I've seen it happen.


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#9209 - 08/18/06 03:59 PM Re: Drinking
Jaysen Offline
Member

Registered: 06/14/06
Posts: 680
It's hard to believe, but I'll try anything once.


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#9210 - 08/18/06 04:37 PM Re: Drinking
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Dont replace drink with heroin.
You dont want to find yourself as a junkie, or worse.

I once drunk day and night seven days a week, one day I was just so tired, I turned back, and never drank in the day since then, still dont.

My body and mind warned me that I was overdoing it, and believe me it did, that was 20 years ago, but I still drink, but not much.

Think of the money you are wasting to toxify your body, I know its not easy dealing with hurt, but drink can aggrevate depression.

There are huge benefits in cutting down or stopping all together,

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#9211 - 08/18/06 04:51 PM Re: Drinking
Jaysen Offline
Member

Registered: 06/14/06
Posts: 680
I was joking about the heroin thing, sorry it was a bad joke. It was given to me, I mean it was forced so I didn't have a choice, I never want to take it again.

I believe you Ste that there are huge benefits to stopping.

Jay


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#9212 - 08/18/06 11:29 PM Re: Drinking
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Jay,

It's good to have positive goals and give them your best, but remember: all the crap you are trying to deal with didn't happen in a day. I don't just mean the abuse; I also have in mind the years of wondering, agonizing, doubting and self-judgment.

If you fall off the wagon, okay, not good, but at the end of the day what can you do? Wipe the wheel marks off your shirt and climb back on.

Real recovery means getting real about things. Not just about the things that can hurt us and the things we need to change, but also about our expectations of ourselves. I wouldn't want to know the number of times I crapped out when I was trying to deal with my drinking and drug problem - at exactly your age, by the way. What got me through was a safe teacher who let me know that I always had a place to crash and that he was never going to give up on me. I think I was doing it for him and his wife for a long time before I figured out I had to be doing it for myself.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#9213 - 08/27/06 06:17 AM Re: Drinking
Jonathon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/25/06
Posts: 74
Loc: New York
Jaysen --

I haven't had a drink, a day at a time, for 4 1/2 years. In the beginning it was really hard, a full on chemical withdrawal. I felt a bit like a zombie and couldn't remember things. I even walked into a door frame and cut my forehead! I don't want to ram something down your throat, but I couldn't have done it without the support I've found in AA. The meetings are weird, but as you know from being here, there is something to be said for shared experience. Most importantly, in the beginning there were other kids who had 15 days off the booze and we would qwetch on the phone when we felt like drinking and get together and eat ice cream. Its not so dramatic now, and we've all gone on with our lives, but it was a good to experience that support and comraderie. Good luck with this.
Best, J


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