i'm hurting for you here. i've been in the same place a lot over the past years. and i'm still there.
posted by Jaysen:
If I knew this 'not drinking' thing came with all these new feelings I wouldn't have stopped. Or I would have replaced with something... like heroin.
Of course I'm kidding about that... kind of...
i know that kind of feeling, too, although i had it the other way around. i don't know much about being addicted to alcohol, but i know my share about heroin. you do not want to do that.
if you feel tempted, please pm me and we'll talk about it.
you are too valuable a person to go down that road. i don't want that for you. i don't want it for anyone, but i especially don't want it for you.
I'm feeling very negative, very cynical, completely alone. I don't usually feel those things. Then again I don't usually feel much of anything.
i'm with you there.
there are a lot of feelings that are not good. that are scary.
however there are just as many feelings that are very good. that you will feel again when you let them find you, by staying off the booze. real life, so i'm learning every passing day, is just as powerful a drug.
yes alcohol will make you not feel for a while. as will heroin. but... the horror always comes back.
you want to feel because the good feelings are what makes life worthwile. at least it has been like that for me. because good just feels so good when you're not drunk or stoned. it feels pure. it feels real. it feels better than any artificial rush. way better.
i'm hurting with you about the relapse. i'm thinking good thoughts of you. if you need someone to talk to, i'm here and i would feel privileged to talk to you. be good to yourself.