welcome here, firstly. I can understand how you feel with your mom. I finally told my mother just last year, at age of 23, and still, she does not want to talk so much of it with me either. I think it is hard, for parent, but especially mom, to accept such things. Because they feel guilty, to not have known of it, to not been able to prevent it or stop it. Their child has been harmed, and they did not realize it until we tell them. There is guilt and sadness for them, and is hard to deal with.
I do not know there is a state of being 'healed'. I think it is an ongoing process. Just as they say there is no 'recovered' alcoholics or drug addicts, but 'recovering', because it is continuous thing. There will be things that will arise, no matter how well 'healed' we are, that will trigger us, or will cause us to react different then a 'normal' person without the past issues we have. It does not mean we are 'abnormal', we are just, exceptional! ha No, seriously, it is just that there will always be things we will feel and see differently. It is not that you are doing wrong, not at all. Please be gentle with yourself, and accept how you are and how you feel as being valid.
Avatar photo in memory of my younger brother Makar.
"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."~~~Martin Luther King Jr., 1963