Newest Members
Stormchaser, johnnyc717, bluebook, Roscoe, SJC
12314 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
clutzygurl (22), dun (50), Gene (50), ufp1964 (50), Zoot (68)
Who's Online
1 registered (tbkkfile), 20 Guests and 5 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12314 Members
74 Forums
63355 Topics
443006 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Topic Options
#8744 - 04/22/03 10:48 AM Self-Forgiveness
wanderer Offline
Member

Registered: 04/18/03
Posts: 50
Loc: massachusetts
Hi All -

There's this part of me that still says, "David how could you have been so stupid to believe all the lies he told you". And I'm sure this is why some self-abuse still continues in my life. Any ideas on how to get past this?

Thanks.

_________________________
"i'm not crazy i'm just a little unwell" (matchbox 20)

Top
#8745 - 04/22/03 11:32 AM Re: Self-Forgiveness
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
David:

This depends a lot on further details of what happened, and what kind of help you are already getting.

Offhand I would say keep coming here, find a good T if you haven't, and if you can find a good survivor support group in your area give it a try.

Most of all, for me at least, it's about the hard work of believing it wasn't my fault, that I was deceived, tricked, lied to, manipulated & abused by people older, stronger, more powerful and with
more knowledge than myself. People I had seemingly
every reason to believe even as they lied, people I should have been able to trust but couldn't.

It's about not blaming or berating myself, but instead knowing & loving myself for who I am: a person not an abuse, a person who has survived & is learning to thrive beyond the abuse.

Hard work but worth it, especially when I consider
the rather hopeless alternatives.

You're worth it too David. Believe that. Don't continue to re-enact the abuse of your perp upon yourself in any way. Don't let him continue to control your life. The control is yours. Your life is yours. Believe it my friend.

Take care of yourself & take it easy on yourself.

Victor

_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

Top
#8746 - 04/22/03 06:30 PM Re: Self-Forgiveness
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
David
You were a child and you were abused by an adult/s.

It's nothing to do with your 'stupidity' - it's all to do with their lies.
Remember back to your childhood and another adult you trusted then, did you belive what they told you ? I bet you did, kids believe adults. I believed boys who were barely two years older than me because they were bigger, older, stronger and because that's what kids do. We believe our peers.

Some, unfortunately, lied to us.

Dave

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

Top


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.