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#85174 - 03/05/03 07:50 PM A Victim's Statement
Don-NY Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/06/02
Posts: 546
Loc: Long Island, NY
Published today in Newsday, Long Island, NY. The boy is currently 17 years old. He spoke out yesterday in court at the sentencing.

Quote:
Victim's Statement
My decision to be here today is not for catharsis; it is not for the criminal; it is to expose the abhorrence of this crime and its perpetrators. It is to make the future of other children safer and uncorrupted by the hands of disgusting predators.

This is my impact statement. It is not only meant to show the hideous impact it has had on my life, but to impact this audience in an urge to make a change now.

In August 1999 I died. I was murdered by a trusted friend, a 35-year-old priest, Michael Hands.

I did not physically see it happen, though. Years earlier he had slowly and painfully knifed at my young eyes. I suppose my blindness heightened the ravaging pain I slowly endured.

He forcefully raped my morbid body as I lay there screaming in anguish. It was a slow, painful death, the kind one would wish on a childhood enemy; yet the painful irony is that it was my childhood.

As a 13-year-old boy, my body was brutally raped and my innocence murdered by a selfish, despicable, manipulative beast. Struggling to hold on to whatever life continued to possess my cold body, I released my final breath, shortened by a final blow into my body. He stood there, still naked and out of breath and stared at my cold blue corpse. My last imprinted childhood memory before its death is that of Michael's lips, with a smirk. "What's wrong ... ? You should be smiling."

I was raped numerous times while I knew this man. Michael was a role model for me.

He bought me things, was kind to my entire family, and I trusted him. He destroyed every ounce of faith within my soul, shattering my dreams, relationships, and my entire well being.

I suppose he enjoyed the sight of my tortured body. Although everyone saw my cold corpse, no one knew of my death. People are terrified to see personified death. No one saw the color behind my blue eyes.

I am determined to show beauty beyond my death. Nothing takes the past away like the future, and mine is sure to be a bright one. Now, almost four years after my first rape and two since my last, we sit before a repulsive, angry, manipulative predator, a man with no regrets to neither me, my family nor those who he has affected through his destructive behavior.

Caught with hands as crimson as my blood, he has neither shown remorse nor admitted his crimes to himself, and for once I am quite glad with who I have become. I am not you, Michael Hands, and I have never met someone who has selectively murdered the childhood of countless victims and the faith of millions of former believers.


_________________________
If you understand everything, some things are just as they are. If you understand nothing, things are still just as they are.

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#85175 - 03/05/03 09:04 PM Re: A Victim's Statement
The Dean Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 07/15/02
Posts: 2080
Loc: Milwaukee, WI
A really courageous young lad. These are always painful to read for me, but it is always also great because ,as this young man says, he is making it better for other kids.

It still astounds me that any man, including my main perp could do this to a kid. But, we all know, they sure as heck did it, again and agaiin.


Hpefully thius perp gets to spend the rest of his life in a prison.

Bob

_________________________
If we do not live what we believe, then we will begin to believe what we live.

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#85176 - 03/05/03 09:35 PM Re: A Victim's Statement
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
The positive & hopeful attitude, the courage & boldness, the desire to help himself & to help others in this young man are absolutely remarkable, as is he. Already such an articulate, sincere, powerful advocate for survivors, victims & potential victims.

Nothing much to say about his perverted perp, who pales into insignificance in the light of this enlightened & enlightening young lad.

Thank you so much for sharing that Donald!

Victor

_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

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#85177 - 03/05/03 11:36 PM Re: A Victim's Statement
Don-NY Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/06/02
Posts: 546
Loc: Long Island, NY
Victor - Amen.

Bob - your last sentence has reduced me to sobbing.

As the result of a plea bargain, Michael Hands was sentenced on two counts, one of attempted sodomy, and one of sodomy. He recieved one year in the Suffolk County JAIL for each count, to be served consecutively.

Quote:
Hands will be sentenced in Nassau County next week to 6 months in jail and 5 years' probation for similar crimes involving the same teen. Hands is expected to then serve 13 months in the Yaphank (Suffolk County) jail before he is released on probation.
The victim and his parents agreed to the plea bargain, and did not oppose the sentence because
Quote:
Hands provided a detailed statement under oath to Michael Dowd, the lawyer for the family of the victim
AND,
Quote:
Hands was a major witness before the Suffolk County grand jury that investigated how the Diocese of Rockville Centre handled sex abuse charges against its priests. "His cooperation led us to information that we never would have known about," Spota said. "That is the only good thing I can say about Father Hands."
So, in addition to his statement, this boy has agreed to the plea bargain in exchange for a sworn confession and testimony from an insider in this horrible scandal which has already led to additional investigations, the removal of several priests from active service, and new legislation working its way through the county and NY State legislatures.

The newspaper, which I read at lunchtime (big mistake) - had only excerpts of statements from the boy and both of his parents. I found the full statements on-line and posted the boy's here as soon as I got home.

I thought I really should put it in the Survivor's Stories forum, but I think now I will put all three statments there together.

The parent's statements are heartbreaking, but also noble and defiant in the face of evil.

I can't help but feel hope after reading them.

Donald

[portions of the above are Copyright 2003, Newsday, Inc. ]

I don't know how long it will be good, but the link is http://www.newsday.com/mynews/ny-lihand053157703mar05.story There are links to the statements and additional stories about Hands testimony to the Grand Jury and what has been going on in the Diocese of Rockville Centre here on LI. The bishop is named Murphy, a former assistant to Law of Boston.

_________________________
If you understand everything, some things are just as they are. If you understand nothing, things are still just as they are.

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#85178 - 03/06/03 07:37 PM Re: A Victim's Statement
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
Don
to read the statements from the family is such a powerful feeling, and I recomend that everyone goes to the Survivor Stories forum to read them.

The boys, and his mothers and fathers statements sum up the whole sad world of SA in three short, dignified and cruelly sad pieces.

Thank's Don
Dave

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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#85179 - 03/17/03 08:38 PM Re: A Victim's Statement
The Dean Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 07/15/02
Posts: 2080
Loc: Milwaukee, WI
Today, I read in the NY Times, that Michael Hand received a whopping six MONTHS for his years of abuse of this boy.

This judge must be among the more ignorant people on the planet--in the Universe. This makes me so angry I am sickened by it.

I am begining to think that vigilante justice is the only true justice in these cases. I never thought I would say that. but this is certainly not justice.

I wish we had some award to give this lad for his bravery and positive response. He is a hero in my book.

Bob

_________________________
If we do not live what we believe, then we will begin to believe what we live.

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#85180 - 03/17/03 09:22 PM Re: A Victim's Statement
orodo Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/15/02
Posts: 735
Loc: Imladris, The Safe Haven of Ar...
Do we know if the perp got probation and mandatory sex offender registration for the rest of his life? That would have been more helpful than 6 months prison. However, keep in mind that "child molesters" are not treated very well in prison, and 6 months may just be all he needs....hehehehehe.

Peace

Orodo

_________________________
It is better to be Dragon Master than Dragon Slayer. Some Dragons are meant to be mastered, others meant to be slain. Odin, Great Spirit, God, grant me the wisdom to know the difference. "May the Valar guide and bless you on your path under the sky"

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#85181 - 03/18/03 09:01 PM Re: A Victim's Statement
The Dean Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 07/15/02
Posts: 2080
Loc: Milwaukee, WI
The article I read did not mention any of that. I do think he will get educated in prison. But I still see him as very dangerous to teens. He needs to be locked away in my mind. People get stronger sentences here for a repeat drunken driving conviction.

He says he is a survivor. Well, it would sure rot my socks to see him come here if I knew who he was. But, I think perps who have recently perped do not come here or they are helped by our resident T's if they do.

I have such a hang-up on men harming boys. I am not like that with any other kind of crime. I eventually came to understand and feel for the men who battered their SO. But I am hung up on this topic.

Sorry to have all these harsh feelings.

Bob

_________________________
If we do not live what we believe, then we will begin to believe what we live.

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#85182 - 03/19/03 02:00 PM Re: A Victim's Statement
The Dean Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 07/15/02
Posts: 2080
Loc: Milwaukee, WI
I certainly love and respect the boy and his parents. But Michael Hands is a predator and a vicious one. I believe that if he is allowed to be among us he presents a danger to teenage boys.

So he provided important information--that is the least he could do.

When I read what he said to that boy after raping him I felt real hatred for him, God forgive me.

Bob

_________________________
If we do not live what we believe, then we will begin to believe what we live.

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#85183 - 03/20/03 01:03 PM Re: A Victim's Statement
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
Quote:
I am begining to think that vigilante justice is the only true justice in these cases. I never thought I would say that. but this is certainly not justice.
The injustice of our criminal justice system is certainly a prime motivator behind some vigilante justice, whether that justifies it or not. In some cases I think maybe it does.

Quote:
However, keep in mind that "child molesters" are not treated very well in prison, and 6 months may just be all he needs....hehehehehe.
Indeed, in this instance, there may very well be a significant exercising of vigilante justice. Can't say that doesn't bring a smile to my face either, Orodo! \:D

Quote:
People get stronger sentences here for a repeat drunken driving conviction.
You wanna know what really pisses me off bro?

Well, I'm gonna tell ya anyway! :p \:D

People get much stronger sentences than that for forging a check or embezzeling or cheating on their income taxes (god forbid we incur the wrath of the IRS gods! :rolleyes: ).

Notice any pattern there!

It's the bottom line: People care more about money
than about other people. This is true in our criminal injustice system, and it is true in life.

And it stinks!

OK I'll go off on one of my "If I were..." fantasies!...

If I were in charge of or highly powerful in the criminal injustice system (I know fat chance!), I would insure stiff penalties for "crimes of money" as they are wrong & they do affect people.

However, direct crimes against other people, acts of violence & hurt & hate, would be far more strictly punished, in accordance with their severity.

In my book, rape or molestation, especially of children, is heinous violence to the body & insidious soul murder.

Both body & soul murder would be judged most harshly, far more harshly than either is now, in my book.

In short, I'd "throw the book" at 'em!

Quote:
So he provided important information--that is the least he could do.
Damn right! Not to mention he was probably trying to save his own sorry arse, get a lighter sentence
maybe a plea bargain--another criminal injustice system policy I'm not too crazy about!

Quote:
When I read what he said to that boy after raping him I felt real hatred for him, God forgive me.
My friend, as you no doubt know quite a few of the Psalms are songs & even prayers that include a strong element of hatred for the enemy:

"O that you would kill the wicked, O God, and that the bloodthirsty would depart from me...I hate them with perfect hatred; I count them as my enemies." (Psalm 139:19,22).

It seems odd that this is immediately followed by:

"Search me O God, and know my heart; test me & know my thoughts. See if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." (verses 23 & 24).

The prophet David the author of this Psalm seemed to know that having a wicked way in us includes tolerance of the wicked in their wicked ways.

I find myself relating to David's thots & prayers here when it comes to someone like Michael Hand.

Yes I know Jesus says to love our enemies, even as He says to despise their wicked deeds.

I also know, & Jesus knows, how difficult it is for me to separate the sin from the sinner so to speak.

Bob if we didn't hate what this man has done there'd be something seriously wrong with us.

Personally I choose having some hatred for this man along with hating his wickedness, as opposed to not much giving a damn about either one.

Its not evil people who louse up this world as much as good people who don't give a damn that they're doing it. IMNSHO.

Loving my enemies & hating their evil deeds is my goal becuz as a Christian my goal is to be like Jesus.

But I confess to being far from that goal.

And until I get there, I intend to hate abuse even if it means hating abusers to whatever degree.

I think God understands this & forgives it.

In any of us & all of us.

Sorry if that was a sermon!

But if it was I was preaching to myself far more than you or anybody else my friend.

TC & TTYL

Victor

_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

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