Now that my not quite 29-year old friend is being released from the hospital for a 'mild' heart attack (as he said to the doctor, we will see how 'mild' it is when it is YOUR heart we are speaking of!), I am having the moments to rather settle back in at home. It is an unerving experience, to see someone not so much older then you in such a situation (he will be having surgery in 2 weeks, yes, I will be asking for good thoughts over on the 'Spirituality' side!)
It is situations such as this that rather mark what is of true importence, and what really is not. I think a lot of my mental turmoil I put myself through, it falls into the latter category.
Things, so many things have been rather emotional in our little 'circle of trust' (Go rent 'Meet the Parents', great laugh movie!) recently. Hard decisions being made. Emotional and physical pains. It can be quite contaminating to the spirit, because honest, how many people enjoy seeing someone they care of in pain?
Yesterday, it was I think 'catharsis' some for me. In both good and bad ways. Although I guess both were for the good, but one was more happy, one more sad. Seeing a close friend falling apart into tears, tears I have never seen of him before, truly. It is like tearing down that unemotional wall, which is such the huge step in healing. It was sad, but positive at the same time.
I was asking, the universe, God, whoever, please show me something positive today. And only now, as I am writing this, I realize how selfish that was. Because truly, there is positive all around us. Sunny sky. Bright flowers. Happy children. Whatever. We just often do not notice it! But the universe was kind to me. I got my 'sign'. Seeing happiness and joy, the innocent happiness of a child on the face of another friend yesterday, lifted me so much. Sometime it seems that negativity, depression, it is contagious. But I discovered yesterday, or rediscovered, that joy is quite infectious also. I am blessed. Truly I am.
Thank you for allowing me to be whatever 'me' I need to be here.
Thank you for allowing me to speak how I need to.
Thank you for allowing me to feel whatever I feel and still be accepted here.
Thank you for liking me, hating me, being disgusted by me, whatever you feel about me, and being honest with me about it.
Thank you for being a 'home' of sort to come home to.
Thank you for honoring me by sharing of yourselves here also. I am humbled by the courage, the integrity, and the strength of human spirit that is so easily found here.
They say that a chain, it is only so strong as it's weakest link. I think the members here form the strongest chain imagineable. Because truly, there is no weakest link here. You all are quite remarkable, and again, I am humbled to be in the presence of greatness here. Thank you all.
I originally was going to post this on the member side. But again. There is no weakest link here. All deserve to feel the gratitude of this member. Thank you ALL. I learn from each of you, and value it.
Avatar photo in memory of my younger brother Makar.
"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."~~~Martin Luther King Jr., 1963