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#85059 - 10/21/02 10:31 PM baby killed for taking out pacifier
rolling_is_life Offline
Member

Registered: 10/16/02
Posts: 53
Loc: Olympia, Washington
This is a gross story, I just saw it on my home page *www.attbi.com* about a little boy who died of abuse. not a pretty thought..

Infant Laid to Rest in Colorado
By P. SOLOMON BANDA

BRIGHTON, Colo. (AP) - A 9-week-old boy was laid to rest Monday, with a pastor saying he hopes some good can come from the death of the infant who allegedly was abused because he pulled out his pacifier.

Tanner Dowler's tiny white casket, topped by a teddy bear, was flanked by several bouquets of flowers, a cast of the newborn's hand and pictures of the baby, sleeping peacefully.

``It's too early to tell what good might come from this,'' pastor David DeBord told a gathering of about 50 family and friends at a funeral service. ``Maybe his death might expose a hole in the safety net that needs repairing.''

Tanner's paternal grandparents, Woody and Lea Dowler, have said that before Tanner's birth, they wrote letters to county social services warning that the boy's parents needed parenting classes. Officials have denied wrongdoing.

Tanner died Oct. 12 after suffering burns to his feet and face, two broken arms and a severe brain injury. Investigators believe his arms were broken when they were pinned behind him to prevent him from dislodging a pacifier.

His parents brought him to a hospital Oct. 3 and were arrested the same day. His father, Joseph Dowler, 34, was charged with first-degree murder and child abuse. His mother, Audra, 19, could face similar charges. Both were jailed.

On Sunday, dozens of people filed past the open casket as protesters carried signs demanding tougher penalties for those convicted of child abuse.

``I just can't imagine that little baby going through,'' Lora Outcelt said as she hugged her own 3 1/2-month-old son tight to her chest. ``I was shocked. It's heartbreaking. It's horrible. As a new mom, I can't imagine.''

_________________________
"Ignoring mortality, we worship mediocrity" -Greg Graffin

"Live fast, die young, leave a great looking corpse" -Ronny Van Zant

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#85060 - 10/21/02 11:16 PM Re: baby killed for taking out pacifier
The Dean Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 07/15/02
Posts: 2080
Loc: Milwaukee, WI
It is impossible to understand anyone doing this to a baby or chilod. I guess the answer John Walsh gave concerning the horrible murder of his son fits: "There are some evil people in the world and they do evil things." It makes me sick to my stomach to think of this baby. But stories like this do show the need to work for child safety as the primary goal.

_________________________
If we do not live what we believe, then we will begin to believe what we live.

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#85061 - 10/22/02 12:33 AM Re: baby killed for taking out pacifier
SoCalJohn Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 05/18/01
Posts: 510
Loc: Los Angeles, California
this story nearly made me throw up,, it is just horrid,, absolutely reprehensible.

i cried for that little guy,, the whole thing is just so horrible...

John

_________________________
I asked him about this law he spoke of, he said,,, *watch* he then asked the others to share about their lives,,, the others talked of how things were for them, how things worked in their lives,,, and as they believed, it was so.

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#85062 - 10/22/02 04:04 PM Re: baby killed for taking out pacifier
New to this Offline
Member

Registered: 09/16/02
Posts: 138
Loc: Mississippi
Is it horrible to think that this child is better off? What was in store for him if he had lived?

It is a cruel irony that our abuse would let us think that any child could be better off dead, and yet, I can't help but think it. Had he survived, what kind of person would have he become? What pain would he have endured? What pain would he have inflicted?

But this was an innocent baby, abused and killed by his parents. I grieve for him. I grieve for myself. I grieve for all of us.

_________________________
"Knowledge itself is power" Francis Bacon

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#85063 - 10/22/02 05:08 PM Re: baby killed for taking out pacifier
Huck Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 03/20/02
Posts: 17
Loc: south carolina
NtT,

I understand where you are coming from...it is sometimes hard figuring out the sense of such cruelty. No, not sometimes...it is always hard.

I used to wonder why my perp could not have just killed me. My suffering would have been over then. I would not have been sentenced to a lifetime of wondering what might have been had he never touched me. Or a lifetime of worry over the risk to my own son or those close to me or any other child, for that matter.

Of course, without my abuse I might have never recognized or be sensitive to the issues we all face as a result of our abuse. I might be less vigilant or even ignorant or uncaring altogether. Despite what happened to me, and the seemingly unending questions that have resulted, I have to believe it happened for a reason. What that reason(s) is, I do not know for sure, but perhaps it was because, deep inside, something I can do will make a difference.

I often railed against prior generations for the abuse inflicted and suffered in silence. It has been the silence that has enabled SA (and all forms of abuse) to fester and even grow like a cancer. I know the "Greatest Generation" supposedly saved the world, but they did little to protect their children and even sentenced them and their progeny to unbelievable pain and suffering by refusing to confront abuse. They, by their silence, endorsed the cycle. They refused to write about it, look at it, discuss it. In short, they ignored it, letting it grow, and left it to our generation to confront.

That little baby might have endured an entire childhood of abuse had he lived. No childhood at all, even. He may even have grown up to be a perp or another suicide statistic. But, he might have grown up to be a fantastic father, or a president, or a doctor, or a survivor who didicated his life to helping his brothers and breaking the cycle. Who knows?

Yes, his suffering is over. But, we are all diminished by his death under such circumstances. His life was wasted by those who should have been nurturing him. Why they did this or he had to die, I do not know. I will probably be wondering all my life. \:\(


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#85064 - 10/22/02 06:55 PM Re: baby killed for taking out pacifier
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
every time this happens here we get the usual round of recrimination and blame.
Social services get the blame, they blame lack of funds and manpower......and on and on it goes.

Until the next time, and we're shocked and outraged all over again.

None of it stops babies being killed or abused, and I don't know what will.
But surely any decent society owes it to themselves to find the answer, even if it's as simple as enough money and social workers.
I'd pay taxes for that.

Just one is too many.

Lloydy

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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