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#84961 - 01/14/07 09:10 PM Re: Not one but TWO missing boys FOUND!!
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Trish, your bf would tell you the kids would be mortified if they are victims of abuse.
If that happened to me as a kid, I would be too ashamed to go out, never mind going to school.

I would put a time frame of months before interviewing them, and only with trained professionals linked to trauma.

I know only too well how hard it was for me to mask out what happened, but with full media coverage it will be impossible to rescue anything from their childhoods.

They will never be the same little boys their families knew, and I guess it will be hard for them to relate to adult males.

I just hope they werent abused, but maybe, they will just keep silent like most of us, and bottle it all up for later in life

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#84962 - 01/14/07 09:19 PM Re: Not one but TWO missing boys FOUND!!
Trish4850 Offline
BoD Liaison Emeritus
MaleSurvivor<

Registered: 10/15/05
Posts: 3280
Loc: New Jersey
*****TRIGGERS MAYBE*******

Something else that you guys may not have seen. While we were watching MSNBC yesterday, the FBI pofiler they use all the time was on. His name is Clint Van Zandt. Clint looks to be in his 50s now; he told a story of being 7 years old. His parents sent him 1/2 a block every day to get the newspaper. He said the cardinal rule in his house was never talk to strangers, never go near them. Get the paper and come straight home.

One afternoon he was walking to get the paper and a man came from between two houses and asked him if he wanted to see a litter of new-born pups. As any 7 year old who hasn't been warned of such a ploy would do, he got excited and said yes. He walked with the man to a garage and the man closed the door, but there were no puppies. The young Clint said he realized his mistake immediately and was terrified. The man told told him he wanted the boy to "do something to him that I'd never even heard of" Clint faught and the man tried to take him down. Luckily for the Clint, the man was drunker than drunk and the boy was able to get away.

So, you'd think he'd run right home right? No. He continued to the store, got the paper and then went home. He never told his parents what happened because he "knew" he'd get in trouble for breaking the rule about talking to strangers.

I thought it was incredibly courageous of that man to tell his story on TV - at his place of employment no less! What I was disappointed with was that he went on to say that he'd felt guilty for all of these years for not telling and allowing the man to still be on the streets but he failed to follow it up with HE WAS 7! No 7 year old on the planet could or should have been expected to take the responsibility for that.

As an FBI profiler with professional and personal experience in sexual assaults of children, I felt he should have put in that last sentence. It makes me think that maybe Clint Van Zandt doesn't realize the effect it had on him.

ROCK ON........Trish

_________________________
If you fall down 10 times, Stand up 11.

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#84963 - 01/15/07 12:46 AM Re: Not one but TWO missing boys FOUND!!
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16264
Trish,

I think you are 100% correct concerning Mr. Van Zandt. He's carrying unnecessary guilt, it would seem. I suppose that's his journey to take.

Lots of love,

John

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#84964 - 01/15/07 02:12 AM Re: Not one but TWO missing boys FOUND!!
onlyakid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/31/04
Posts: 1552
Loc: New Jersey
Unfortunately, they are not likely now to admit to being abused if they were because it will be all over the media. Also in there minds is that he is being charged with kidnapping and will be going to jail anyway and therefore there is no need to talk about it.

This of course coupled with all of the normal reasons a survivor has to keep the secret inside.

For their sakes, I hope that they weren't molested but if they were I hope somehow they find the help they need and the strength to talk about it.

_________________________
"Being with people that understand you...Priceless"

"and i don't want the world to see me, cause i don't think that they'd understand"

"You don't know what love is...you just do as your told"

"My life has changed. What you take as a simple thing, is not so simple for me anymore"


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#84965 - 01/15/07 04:09 PM Re: Not one but TWO missing boys FOUND!!
onlyakid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/31/04
Posts: 1552
Loc: New Jersey
More details are coming in according to the New York Times

http://www.nypost.com/seven/01152007/new...andy_geller.htm

"Kiddie porn was found on the home computer of the hulking loner accused of kidnapping two St. Louis boys, law-enforcement sources said yesterday. "

_________________________
"Being with people that understand you...Priceless"

"and i don't want the world to see me, cause i don't think that they'd understand"

"You don't know what love is...you just do as your told"

"My life has changed. What you take as a simple thing, is not so simple for me anymore"


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#84966 - 01/15/07 05:33 PM Re: Not one but TWO missing boys FOUND!!
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Its still too early to speculate what happened to these boys, and he must have had an incredible hold on the older boy to have his name changed.

If he has had such a hold, the boy may not want him charged with CSA!
This may go on for months before any real information comes out \:\(

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#84967 - 01/18/07 02:48 AM Re: Not one but TWO missing boys FOUND!!
melliferal Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/03/05
Posts: 1159
Well, the discussion coming from some people (like Bill O'Reilly, for instance) that Shawn ran away on purpose can be put to rest:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070117/ap_on_re_us/boys_found_investigation

Quote:
Washington County, Mo., prosecutor John Rupp said in a statement that Devlin, 41, was charged with kidnapping and armed criminal action. The statement does not name Shawn, but uses the initials SDH.

A probable cause statement released by Rupp said Devlin "abducted SDH utilizing force for the purpose of terrorizing the victim. After securing SDH, Michael Devlin flourished a handgun in order to gain compliance of the minor child. Michael Devlin then transported him out of the county and concealed his whereabouts for four years and three months."

Rupp and Sheriff Kevin Schroeder would not discuss evidence in the case beyond the probable cause statement, but Rupp said he wanted to shoot down speculation that Shawn ran away on his own.

"Shawn was abducted against his will," Rupp said. "Period. End of story."
So that's enough of that. Meanwhile, I wasn't convinced at any point that this is a true case of Stockholm Syndrome, and I'm not convinced now either. In Stockholm, a victim bonds with and comes to like and relate with a perpetrator. There's no indication anywhere that Shawn ever "liked" this Devlin character, except that he didn't escape all this time. However, being threatened with a gun is certainly a powerful and convincing argument for an 11-year-old that he should do what he is told - including "don't run away". Considering that this kid has been kept in a bubble - away from other adults, away from education of any kind - there's no compelling reason to believe that he would be any "smarter/cleverer/more thoughful" after four years, either.

_________________________
Children cannot consent; they can only comply.

Oprah's resources for male survivors

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#84968 - 01/18/07 04:35 AM Re: Not one but TWO missing boys FOUND!!
Trish4850 Offline
BoD Liaison Emeritus
MaleSurvivor<

Registered: 10/15/05
Posts: 3280
Loc: New Jersey
Melliferal,

Thanks for posting that. I never believed that Shawn ran away or stayed away because of his parents, especially after reading about them. That family agonized and worked so hard for four years to find their son and they've done so much to help other families in similar positions. They even lost their jobs and their home because of exhausting all of their financials in their efforts. They were destroyed by his abduction and they're rejoicing now that he's home.

As for any "chances" Shawn had to escape, hey, he was a little kid when a 300 lb. man stole him. I've no doubt of the fear that child lived with day to day; survival in the only world he now knew was all he had.

Thanks again..........Trish

_________________________
If you fall down 10 times, Stand up 11.

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#84969 - 01/19/07 08:27 AM Re: Not one but TWO missing boys FOUND!!
Galapogos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/15/05
Posts: 110
Loc: usa
Hi,
Just jumping in the middle here...
I saw that the younger kid was on a morning news show with his family, and the older kid was on Oprah today. I'm sure the families were paid, but it seems so wrong, it's like they're going to be victimized all over again as the details come out. What's wrong with Oprah? Are ratings that important? I know it's valuable to put the spotlight on abuse and make people think about calling the cops when then see something questionable going on. But it's just too soon. These boys need a trauma psychologist and some time away from the media. If I was a billionare I'd offer to match any offer the media made to tell their story.

just my thoughts

_________________________
Digging in the dirt
Stay with me I need support
I'm digging in the dirt
To find the places I got hurt
Open up the places I got hurt
--Peter Gabriel

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#84970 - 01/19/07 02:05 PM Re: Not one but TWO missing boys FOUND!!
Trish4850 Offline
BoD Liaison Emeritus
MaleSurvivor<

Registered: 10/15/05
Posts: 3280
Loc: New Jersey
I agree with you 100% about the appearances going on now. They should have left it at the initial press conference and then moved on with the business of what has to be done.

And what the hell is wrong with Oprah! Why, on national television, would she ask the parents if they believed Shawn was sexually abused; and why the hell would the parents answer!? I don't indict the parents as much as I do Oprah. She was a victim of sexual abuse and knows what that boy is going through. The parents may have been blind sided by her question and just answered it honestly, but still..... They are going to regret it, if they don't already.

ROCK ON.........Trish

_________________________
If you fall down 10 times, Stand up 11.

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