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#8464 - 04/21/03 11:17 PM Need some help
James_dup1 Offline


Registered: 04/13/02
Posts: 1332
Loc: Wyoming
Ok...I'm haveing a problem I need some advice on. A few months ago I needed to talk to my bishiop at church to get some help paying bills. I've not been able to work sence december. Well while I was in his office he made me feel like my step father did when I was 12 and the abuse started. I've thought about writing him a letter and sending some info on sexual abuse and how it affects an adult. I dont want to be mean in the letter just tell him how he made me feel, and explain to him how it hurt for him to look down at me and make me feel like I was 12 again. I guess I want to take my power back from him that I let him have that night in his office. What do ya'll think. Good idea or not? Please help me with this. Thank you
James

_________________________
I have more issues than Rolling Stone!


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#8465 - 04/22/03 10:16 AM Re: Need some help
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
James,

If this is how you feel the bishop treated you, I think it would certainly be appropriate & potentially therapeutic for you to share those feelings with him, whether by letter, phone or in person. If you can leave the doors open to response from & further communication with him, this could be a real learning & healing experience
for both of you.

Not to invalidate your feelings or perceptions at all James, but is it possible that he was not really looking down on you but that this was your perception; or perhaps he unintentionally came across as tho looking down on you?

Irregardless, sharing your feelings with him could
be a good way to be sure, clear the air, who knows maybe even form a positive healing relationship. Or at least make sure the bishop knows how you feel & where you stand.

Just some rambling thots to consider or trash or whatever, James. Hope there is something of value there. My prayers are with you as you contemplate this matter & your response.

BTW James I encourage you not to let him tell you how you did or didn't feel. If he did or does abuse you in any way, do try to keep a safe distance & get help if you need it. I don't know details on what happened, but please report him if it is or it becomes necessary.

Take care

Victor

_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

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#8466 - 04/29/03 01:06 PM Re: Need some help
Muldoon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/30/02
Posts: 1428
Loc: St Paul MN
James I would write him a letter and let him know how you felt during your meeting. He is a powerful man in his small world and sometimes needs a reminder of how others see him.
I also have been out of work since Dec. and have been having a hard time paying all the bills. I ask for help paing my medical insurance and they have been doing that since Feb. I was supized that they are helping with this. They have been paying for my weekly T sessions since last May.
Good luck in your healing. Muldoon

_________________________
Teach the Children to Never Hide in the Silence

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