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#84573 - 10/25/06 05:10 AM Re: Paedophile is 'pure evil' and still free
Cerritus Offline
Member

Registered: 10/01/06
Posts: 53
Loc: Ohio
I am not saying God is the problem but he does not seem to be helping out a whole lot either. I was abused from an infant on and he made no way out of the abusive situation for me. I was told God was all powerful and was a loving caring God and I do not understand that from the point of a survivor whose abusers used the church as a mask and God did not do anything to stop them to save me.

Josh

_________________________
The most deadly of all possible sins is the mutilation of a child's spirit.-Erik H. Erikson

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#84574 - 10/25/06 05:37 AM Re: Paedophile is 'pure evil' and still free
shadowkid Offline
WARNING from ModTeam, September 2013: user "Shadowkid" was exposed as a hoaxer. His entire online persona and stories of sexual abuse were fiction. We encourage you not to become emotionally concerned by anything you see in any of his posts. Thank you
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 2437
arggh here we go again lol, if frewill determines everything then the god that people worship has no power whatsoever in this world .it cant be both ways ,its either man with his freewill or its god who does nothing .either way god is not helping ,yes im still here but what did god have to do with that? god didnt pull me out of that closet ,god didnt make me strong enough to survive what should have killed me ,god didnt strike my abuser dead ,god didnt save me ,i just refused to die ,and i dont give god credit that belongs to kids who just refuse to die . if god is the reason i survived then why the hell did he let that animal torture me for months before he alomst let him beat me to death ,was that part of gods plan ,did he plan for my cousin to think i was dead and dump my body on a deserted road .was god beside me in that dirty ditch where i was found ? maybe god did keep me alive but he sure could have saved me a world of pain if he showed up sooner

_________________________
its not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball - damien rice

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#84575 - 10/25/06 05:44 AM Re: Paedophile is 'pure evil' and still free
Cerritus Offline
Member

Registered: 10/01/06
Posts: 53
Loc: Ohio
Adam I agree with you man! I wonder if God is simply a deadbeat dad in the whole caring for his so-called children or Does he just not give a damn. I have alot of issues with God and faith and I am trying to work through them and I admire those of you who have a strong faith. But the one person I had to have faith in was myself because I was the one that got through those dark times I was the one that hid in my closet so they could not find me I was the one who survived by being to damn stubbron to lay down and die and I was the one who made the choice to break the cycle of abuse! I was the one who stood up and said i will not be like my father and that I am not going to allow the abuse to pass on to me. I stood the ground and if God was there he was awfuly damn quiet.

Josh

_________________________
The most deadly of all possible sins is the mutilation of a child's spirit.-Erik H. Erikson

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#84576 - 10/25/06 05:49 AM Re: Paedophile is 'pure evil' and still free
shadowkid Offline
WARNING from ModTeam, September 2013: user "Shadowkid" was exposed as a hoaxer. His entire online persona and stories of sexual abuse were fiction. We encourage you not to become emotionally concerned by anything you see in any of his posts. Thank you
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 2437
i will admit i feel guilty for the way i feel about god but that dont change the way i feel . also god can be anyone that holds the power of life or death over you for me my abuser was god because he could end my life anytime he wanted to and he demanded the same kind of devotion from me that religion demands from those who believe . truth is josh ,we were amazing kids ,period thats why we survived .the kids who refused to be beaten are the ones that deserve the credit for us still being here.

_________________________
its not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball - damien rice

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#84577 - 10/25/06 05:52 AM Re: Paedophile is 'pure evil' and still free
Cerritus Offline
Member

Registered: 10/01/06
Posts: 53
Loc: Ohio
I was just simply to stubbron to allow them to win no matter what I repressed my memories for years and am not 100% sure what all happened but I am working on my recovery because I am still to damn stubbron to let them win.

Josh

_________________________
The most deadly of all possible sins is the mutilation of a child's spirit.-Erik H. Erikson

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#84578 - 10/25/06 08:42 AM Re: Paedophile is 'pure evil' and still free
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
OK,

Quote:
truth is josh ,we were amazing kids ,period thats why we survived .the kids who refused to be beaten are the ones that deserve the credit for us still being here.
Who did give you the will to survive?
God gave you a set of tools that most ppl never get to use, called a survival kit.

The will to survive is massive, and it got you through and made you a better man.
The ones who hurt children will have to meet their maker, then its their turn,

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

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#84579 - 10/25/06 03:39 PM Re: Paedophile is 'pure evil' and still free
Cerritus Offline
Member

Registered: 10/01/06
Posts: 53
Loc: Ohio
Ste,

I do not want to get into a huge religious debate because that will get no one anywhere but at a stalemate. I know I have lost my faith and I am working at regaining it but no matter what people have said and I have talked to a dozen pastors, several church elders and many different people in the christian community and I always get the same answer that God was there and they say the same things you have said but I have trouble believing God was there when I was being abused for over 16 yrs of my life. That is my own personal belief that has come out of the effects of my abuse. I have lost my faith because of what was done and I am not blaming God for what my abusers done I am blaming God for not making a way out. I am not able to currently work I have anxiety, depression and PTSD. I disassociate and detach from the world around me when things become to stressful or hurt to much and I know that is not a healthy way to live my life and I am making the changes to heal and recover. I have not had poof your all better miracle from God. I do believe there is a God. I just am not on real good terms wit him right now and I think HE owe me an explanation for things.

Josh

_________________________
The most deadly of all possible sins is the mutilation of a child's spirit.-Erik H. Erikson

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#84580 - 10/25/06 05:23 PM Re: Paedophile is 'pure evil' and still free
shadowkid Offline
WARNING from ModTeam, September 2013: user "Shadowkid" was exposed as a hoaxer. His entire online persona and stories of sexual abuse were fiction. We encourage you not to become emotionally concerned by anything you see in any of his posts. Thank you
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/18/05
Posts: 2437
i think we totaly highjacked this post sorry,just want to say while the things that people tell us about god ,like ste ,are to me hard to understand ,but i think i do understand that they talk to us about god ,to try to help us and thats cool,i might not agree with whats said but i appreciate the desire to help thats behind it,if i had something that was good for me ,like faith i would want to share it with others also .so while we might not see eye to eye on this thanks for trying to help cause i know it seems like i dont wanna believe in god ,but really i probably want that more than most people. but i need answers ,real answers i cant just take it on faith .

_________________________
its not hard to fall
when you float like a cannonball - damien rice

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#84581 - 10/25/06 05:40 PM Re: Paedophile is 'pure evil' and still free
reality2k4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 6838
Loc: Stuck between water, air, and ...
Josh,

I was a little younger than you when I accepted that God was with me, and I made great progress at that time.
I am not going to say to you how to think, I know how hard the road can be.

It is just that I spent a lot of time meditating and stuff to keep my mind off things, and letting some of the worst things seem lighter than the load of past.

Taling stuff out is a good way forward, you can go in unmod forum and really let go.
I look at it like scales, and try to balance them towards good rather than hurt.

Believe me, I am not a preacher, but God has certainly been there for me, even when I did not see it, and if you told me that at your age, I might just have said the same thing,

ste

_________________________
Whoever stole the Sun, put it back and we'll drop all the charges!

Top
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