(If you click the link, skip the fist story about the guy with the limp that wants to break into porn :rolleyes: )

Help For Male Survivors

My husband was a victim of childhood sexual abuse and has decided he needs some counselling. I tried an internet search for helplines in the GTA, but mostly the services are for women or children. Could you please point us in the right direction? Is there a confidential helpline or service that helps men who are abuse survivors? SALLY

The website http://www.malesurvivor.org is a clearing house of information that may be of interest to you. Locally, there are therapists who deal with male survivors of childhood sexual abuse, and Jeremy Tomlinson is one of them. "A quarter of my practice is male survivors of sexual abuse," says Tomlinson. He doesn't know of any anonymous helplines that deal specifically with male survivors, but does say that the Distress Centre (416-408-4357) is a good resource for patients when they are unable to see their therapist. As well, he recommends The Gatehouse, a centre that serves adult survivors of childhood abuse. You can find them online at http://www.thegatehouse.org or call 416-255-5900.

In his own practice, Tomlinson says his therapy focuses on "a third the past, a third the present and a third the future. Too much past is traumatizing. We look at how the experience of abuse is influencing you in the present and what can be changed for the future." The process is a slow and moderated one, because, Tomlinson says, "When people talk about their memories, it may trigger other memories. Patients need to be very aware of stress management and doing activities they enjoy between stressful memories."

For reading resources, Tomlinson recommends Victims No Longer: The Classic Guide for Men Recovering from Sexual Child Abuse by Mike Lew.