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#82536 - 05/04/04 01:34 PM trigger poem
ak Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/10/04
Posts: 1491
The blood in me, it feel so cold.
I feel so young, I feel so old.
Away of myself, alien and wrong.
Keeping the secrets too much and too long.
Feeling nothing, but feeling much.
Scared to move, scared of touch.
Looking at myself, from outer in.
Knowing how dark and big my sin.
Wanting to sleep,forever,and then
To wake up in hell, with those same men?
Trying for faith, to try to forgive.
But not thinking I deserve even to live.
The blood in me,useless and obscene.
Rushing away from me, the unclean.
The blood in me, it has no point.
To keep me living? To prove me human?
To watch it rush from me, the cut unseen.
I'm too abnormal.
It must be green.


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#82537 - 05/04/04 10:50 PM Re: trigger poem
Bill_1965 Offline
Chat Mod Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/29/03
Posts: 1983
Loc: Flint, Michigan
Andrei,

A beautifully written poem. So filled with pain. So wrong.

You are not abnormal. You are not unclean. You do deserve to live. You are not the one that sinned.

Take care,
Bill

_________________________
Pain is Temporary; Quitting lasts Forever. - Lance Armstrong

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#82538 - 05/04/04 11:05 PM Re: trigger poem
outis Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/27/03
Posts: 2260
Loc: Maryland USA
Andrei,

You pack a lot into a few words. You write wonderfully. But I hope you know that the sin was not and is not yours.

Please take time for Andrei. Forgiveness is a gift you can give when the time is right. Forgiveness can wait. They will still be guilty after you spend time on yourself, and you can worry then about forgiveness, if you choose.

Thanks,

Joe

_________________________
"Telemachos, your guest is no discredit to you. I wasted no time in stringing the bow, and I did not miss the mark. My strength is yet unbroken…"—The Odyssey, translated by W.H.D. Rouse

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