Dark
So dark
So black

You

No thoughts
Just you standing there
Unlifelike

Standing there

Studying

Strength
Hardness
Resolve
Anger

Watching
Waiting

An animal, hiding
What would you do next
Where would you move

Fear
Should I fear
Should I turn to flee
Curl into a ball
Into my shell
Wait for the blow

You

So black here
Where I live
Down here, looking up

You

So cold
Not lonely
Not sad
Not afraid, not really
What's to be afraid of

Again?
Again is the same
The same is not fearful
The same is known
Known is not fearful
Known is expected
Again is expected

You

Study you
No feeling
I'm here
Looking

Love
Ever?
No
Nothing

No existence
No love
Love is existence
No love
No warmth in the eyes

Touch

No memory of touch
Not that kind
Not loving
Innocent
Sweet
Caring

Sinking
When I think of those
Sinking
When I think of love
Sinking

Looking up from darkness
Like a rat
Just my eyes peering through the cracks to see you there

Did I live
Was I ever alive
Was I dead at birth

No later
Understanding led to death
His death
My death
Ours

I will reach out to touch
I will reach out to know
I will climb up to look into your eyes

Do you weep
Will you weep for me
Will you know me
Did you
Know me
Down here
Below

Reach
Reach down
Lift me up
No
No
No
No

Never
Not here
Don't find me here
Must smile
Pretend
A funny little kid
A happy little kid
A cute little kid
A puppet on a string

Dance, puppet
Laugh
I hear you laugh
Up there
Up there with them

The truth is here
Below
The truth is there
In the dark
The truth is there
In his eyes
Cold
Cold eyes
Cold heart
Frozen soul
Frozen arms

Deep
Dark
Floorboards overhead
Light filters through
Little mouse
All alone
Curl up and
Sleep

_________________________
I'm healing now, and I wasn't sure I would.