And the man walked into the kitchen
And he began to throw things around
Harder and harder he threw them
Each crash seeming to strangely soothe something inside him
Each object thrown harder against the wall
The sink
The stove

And the little boy watched him
And the little boy understood

And the man began to cry great sobs
And to yell, "Why, why, why?"
And to run into things as he threw
And tears began to stream down his cheeks

And the little boy watched him
And the little boy understood

And the man stood in the middle of the room
And began to tear wildly at his own flesh
Desperately bringing on physical pain
To mask the horrible pain of the rage going on inside him

And the little boy watched him
And the little boy understood

And, when he could stand the pain no more
The man fell weeping to the floor
Scattering the dishes and the pans
From where he lay

And the little boy watched him
And the little boy understood

And, finally, eerily calm
The man crawled slowly into a corner of the room
Crying now very softly
Curled up like a small child and went to sleep

And the little boy held him gently
And the little boy understood

Bobby,

So many of us will feel for these lines, my friend. I'm so sorry it has been this rough. We are all here for you, but I think you know that.

Much love,
Larry

Perhaps I should explain my poem a bit. The man in the poem is me, and the boy is my inner child. I haven't ever really raged like that, but have enough anger and frustration inside to imagine myself doing it. I feel that sometimes my inner child is the wiser of the two of us and comforts me when I become too distraught or too depressed. It's as if he turns the tables on me and says, "Calm down a little, Bobby. We can get through this. It's going to be all right."

Bobby,

This is how I took it. I hope you will find a way to let the anger out. It really is important. Anger is a way of rejecting guilt and throwing the blame back where it belongs. It's also an illustration to ourselves that it is okay to feel again.

The trick, of course, is to let the anger out but in healthy ways and degrees. That is where a T can help. We all have ways that do and don't work for us. My way, for example, was to write raging letters that I would throw away as soon as I wrote them, but other guys need something more physical. Beating the crap out of a large tree with an aluminum baseball bat (with thick gloves on to protect your hands) was suggested awhile back. The point is to let it out.

Much love,
Larry

((((((BOBBY))))))

Bobby,

I love you. I too have felt like doing that even tho I never have. I understand.

Darrel