And now you know a secret
So hard for me to share
And you know just a little piece
There's more, you know
It's nothing that would mean a thing to anyone
But I have held it close
Have hidden it
It's made me feel so all alone
That no one knows
A little boy's secret
Grown to a man's obsession
His shame
It was so hard to share
So good to get it out of there
So good to give it all to you
The heavy space inside me now so light
And yet I am afraid
For, now you know
You know my shame
What if you now think less of me
Your acceptance so much more important than the sharing of a burden
And yet you must know all of me, must you not
Or there's no point to this
This sharing
This friendship
So many people know the parts of me I want to show
Accept me for the things I deem acceptable
That doesn't count
To count, my friend, you simply have to know it all
And still accept me
Love me
For who I really am
The bravery in my telling you
The bravery of that little boy, so vulnerable, so hurt
Cannot be told in words
So tell me now you love me
I'm small again, you know
Each time I share one of his things
My things
I lay myself out there again for him to ravish me once more
Lay down my walls
My armor
Stand alone again in that dark room
Listening for his footsteps
Yet, I must
To live
Tell you
I've been alone with all my secrets far too long
Take them from me, please
I hope they are not heavy in your hands
In my heart, they weighed me down so much
That I could hardly bear to move

Bobby,

Such truth in so few words. As long as it's a secret we can't work on it or deal with it and can't reject the shame and blame.

Much love,
Larry

You are loved, Bobby.

John