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#82205 - 12/07/03 01:21 AM is it real
michael Joseph Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/11/01
Posts: 2719
Loc: Virginia
Is it real
lying there silent

Is it real
if noone knows about it

Is it real
if it didnt hurt too much

Is it real
or is it a big fat nightmare

Yes it was real
It was always real

Now it is time to deal with it
That is the tough part

Sometimes denile is a good thing
but not forever

It is real and it hurts
and it is now time to heal

and heal and heal and heal
too bad it was real

MJ

_________________________
Standing together is so much better than hiding in the dark.
***I am a three time WoR Retreat Alumni***
The Round Table, Men's CSA Group, Monday 7:30pm CST, MaleSurvivor Chat

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#192845 - 11/27/07 06:45 PM Re: is it real [Re: michael Joseph]
michael Joseph Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/11/01
Posts: 2719
Loc: Virginia
too bad it was real indeed

It is real
It hurts still

It does not have to rule my life
so I keep healing
too bad it was real

_________________________
Standing together is so much better than hiding in the dark.
***I am a three time WoR Retreat Alumni***
The Round Table, Men's CSA Group, Monday 7:30pm CST, MaleSurvivor Chat

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#192847 - 11/27/07 06:50 PM Re: is it real [Re: michael Joseph]
Barney Offline


Registered: 07/31/06
Posts: 236
Loc: Southern Utah/Northern Arizon
Hear your sadness and pain. Sounds also like your moving out of the denial stage and your mind is allowing you to remember and feel lots of the emotions related to the abuse. It takes so much courage to do what you are doing. I really respect that in you.

Someone once said "if you can feel what happened to you, then you can heal it" So, your moving in a good direction, it just hurts like hell. keep at it, reach out to the rest of us for support and let us be there for you. You deserve to be happy

B


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#192923 - 11/28/07 07:28 AM Re: is it real [Re: Barney]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Michael,

Interesting idea. When things were going bad for me it seemed like the only thing that was real was the abuse. Everything else was somehow just going through the motions, trying to make sure no one figured me out, trying to keep the secret but wishing someone would see. They never did, so that made life seem all the more unreal to me.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#193523 - 12/02/07 11:21 PM Re: is it real [Re: roadrunner]
michael Joseph Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/11/01
Posts: 2719
Loc: Virginia
how long does it hurt?

_________________________
Standing together is so much better than hiding in the dark.
***I am a three time WoR Retreat Alumni***
The Round Table, Men's CSA Group, Monday 7:30pm CST, MaleSurvivor Chat

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#193532 - 12/03/07 04:05 AM Re: is it real [Re: michael Joseph]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
The big question Jason asked last night in chat! Here's my answer, Michael, though I don't claim it's everyone's answer.

It will always hurt, my friend. No help or therapy or healing can change the fact of what was done to us; nothing can make it okay. It will always hurt to look back and remember.

But it will be a pain we can bear, and it will no longer be something that hijacks our lives, robs us of our ability to function as others do, or denies us access to a happy and joyful future. We will be able to look back at it, we will hurt for a moment, yes, and then we will get on with our lives.

That won't mean we will have given up our right to be angry or to wish the abuser torn into a million pieces, and it won't mean we have forgiven anybody (unless we have chosen to do so). What it WILL mean is that we will have denied the abuser any further control over our lives or ability to harm us. We will have taken our lives back for US to live as WE plan, dream, and desire.

That's what healing will be, and that's what peace will mean. Or at least, that's my answer.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#193694 - 12/04/07 01:34 AM Re: is it real [Re: roadrunner]
michael Joseph Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/11/01
Posts: 2719
Loc: Virginia
I know

there is no answer for how long

it depends what we do with our lives

despite the abuse that makes the difference

_________________________
Standing together is so much better than hiding in the dark.
***I am a three time WoR Retreat Alumni***
The Round Table, Men's CSA Group, Monday 7:30pm CST, MaleSurvivor Chat

Top
#355358 - 03/02/11 02:51 PM Re: is it real [Re: michael Joseph]
michael Joseph Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/11/01
Posts: 2719
Loc: Virginia
it is real

we can over come this shit

that is why I am here

to heal from all that happened

MJ

_________________________
Standing together is so much better than hiding in the dark.
***I am a three time WoR Retreat Alumni***
The Round Table, Men's CSA Group, Monday 7:30pm CST, MaleSurvivor Chat

Top
#360303 - 04/20/11 11:33 AM Re: is it real [Re: michael Joseph]
michael Joseph Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/11/01
Posts: 2719
Loc: Virginia
It is fucking real

when u cant look in the mirror

_________________________
Standing together is so much better than hiding in the dark.
***I am a three time WoR Retreat Alumni***
The Round Table, Men's CSA Group, Monday 7:30pm CST, MaleSurvivor Chat

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