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#82023 - 01/06/06 09:24 PM "Be"
Bobby Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/01/04
Posts: 1287
Loc: Arizona
Went to my shrink this morning

"Be", she said

But I'm having such a hard time with my emotions right now. I don't know what to do with them. Should I feel them? Should I let other people know how I feel? Should I let down my guard?

"Be", she said

I really don't know what I should do. Life is so hard and I am so trapped inside myself. I mean, I'm getting better, and I am trying, but most of the time I feel all alone and I don't know how not to feel that way and....

"Be", she said

Oh, you mean "Be"...you mean just sort of "Be", like just sort of live and not worry so much...that kind of "Be"? Like, don't over think life and put too much meaning in every little thing that happens and worry that everyone that comes into your life is going to eventually hurt you and that you can't tell anyone anything because you're so weird and lacking that, if they found out who you really were, they'd run away as fast as they could, you mean that kind of "Be"?

"Be", she said

Oh...well...I think I got it, but this is sure a lot of money to spend for one word, if you don't mind my saying so. I could have probably got the same advice from one of those eight balls or something or by drawing a word out of a hat or something and I really think you should give me a discount or something because this is the weirdest appointment I've ever been to.

"Bye", she said

And on the way home I think I got it, and I'm really going to try. I'm really going to try to take away all of that stuff that I've built up around my emotions. I'm going to try to trust, and I'm going to try to let myself feel love, and I'm going to try to let myself love, and I'm going to let myself cry without beating myself up for it, and I'm going to be sensitive without thinking it's unmanly and, well, I'm just going to "Be".....at least I'm really going to try.

I think maybe it was a really good session after all....short, and expensive...but really good.

"Be" , Bobby, for Pete's sake just take a chance, and just friggin' "Be"

_________________________
I'm healing now, and I wasn't sure I would.




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#82024 - 01/06/06 09:56 PM Re: "Be"
TX_Space Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/02/05
Posts: 163
Loc: Texas
Bobby,
WOW! That is amazing...once again, you hit it right on the head. The same thoughts...and emotions run through my head each and every day.

Let's "Be" together...or at least try. \:\)
tx_space


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#82025 - 01/07/06 03:07 PM Re: "Be"
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Bobby,

You are so right. At some point we have to take the risks ourselves, let go of our safe havens and strike out to claim the life that is ours by right. But the trick is it isn't handed to us; we have to want it badly enough to reach out and claim it and hold onto it. We may get hit and battered all over again from time to time, but no one can promise anyone else - survivor or otherwise - an easy ride.

I guess the first person we have to trust is ourselves. It's like learning to swim. What kid has ever done that without fearing at first for what will happen if he lets go and starts out on his own?

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#82026 - 01/07/06 04:24 PM Re: "Be"
michael Joseph Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/11/01
Posts: 2719
Loc: Virginia
Bobby sounds like a step forward, hope you are feeling something and trusting yourself a bit more, send a smile and a song!!!

take care!

MJ

_________________________
Standing together is so much better than hiding in the dark.
***I am a three time WoR Retreat Alumni***
The Round Table, Men's CSA Group, Monday 7:30pm CST, MaleSurvivor Chat

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#82027 - 01/09/06 11:21 PM Re: "Be"
The Seeker Offline
Member

Registered: 04/10/05
Posts: 141
Loc: Ohio, USA
Bobby,

It is hard to "BE", but it helps. It is hard to "BE" in the here and now too. I know I often feel trapped in the past.

In the simplest sense, maybe Popeye gave us some words of wisdom:

" I ams, what I ams, what I ams, I'm Popeye."

All we need to do is replace Popeye with our own names for this to be true. All we can "BE" is who we are and who we are becoming. They're the same person after all.

Way to go Bobby! Hang in there!

John

_________________________
The answers are in me.

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